Sara Foster is many things (actor, head of creative at Bumble, fitness queen), but sex-deprived is not one of them — despite co-sleeping with her 7-year-old daughter, Valentina.
“I feel like she might be in my bed until she’s, like, 18,” Foster said during a recent episode of Motherlucker: Got a Sec. Having “adult time” on the mattress she shares with her husband and eldest kid may be out of the question, but Foster says she and her husband have no trouble finding alternative sex spots.
“I think the shower is always a safe place. It’s, like, the only area where there is a lock on the door. There’s a lot of shower action happening,” she said, before adding that she’s not opposed to taking the action to their cars either. “I highly recommend it,” she quipped.
Foster (inadvertently) raises a valuable point: The bedroom doesn’t just have to be a space for sex. In fact, sharing a bed with your kids can yield significant health benefits, including more comfortable breastfeeding, decreased risk of SIDS and improved confidence. These benefits don’t just apply to younger kids either.
“Older children who co-sleep may feel that they talk to their parents in bed in ways they do not when they are awake and the lights are on,” certified private-practice lactation consultant and parent coach Leigh Anne O’Connor told SheKnows. “They feel less vulnerable and are able to open up.”
Of course, the decision to co-sleep shouldn’t completely replace all adult alone time — and not just the sexual kind. Foster said she and her husband still plan date nights and kid-less activities to keep the flame burning.
“I think it’s so important to carve that out,” she said. “It’s important for the relationship; it’s important for the kids to see their parents putting the time in. I think that it’s our responsibility to show our children what a healthy relationship looks like.”
Ultimately, the decision to co-sleep (or not) is a deeply personal one to make. Each family unit is going to be different, and every couple will have to spend the time weighing the pros and cons to determine what makes the most sense for their circumstances. Just know that there’s nothing weird about it — and rest assured it doesn’t have to mark the end of your sex life.