Jada Pinkett Smith Talks to Daughter Willow About Monogamy & Multiple Orgasms
How often do you see three generations of women in one family sit down to talk frankly about sex? Not too often. So it's a revelation — and an unexpected delight — to watch Jada Pinkett Smith talk about the birds, bees and multiple orgasms with her mom (Adrienne Banfield Norris) and her daughter (Willow) as well as Willow's BFF (Telana Lynum) on her internet TV show, Red Table Talk.
Some of the episode's sweetest, realest moments occur between Pinkett Smith and her mama, whom the family affectionately refers to as Gam. As they're getting prepped in hair and makeup, Pinkett Smith reveals that the episode will be about — *gasp* — sex. Banfield Norris' face is pretty much priceless.
"I'm gonna pray on it," she says. "God help us all." Banfield Norris continues in disbelief, "Talking about that on camera? And certainly you're not going to have Willow on this...?"
"Ma, that's the whole point," Pinkett Smith scolds her mother. "I did not want Willow to have shame of any kind."
"Lord have mercy, you're trying to kill me here," Banfield Norris replies, to which mother and daughter both crack up.
You can watch the entire episode right here.
Willow Smith knocked us out with her maturity. She revealed that talking to her father, Will Smith, about sex is a very different experience. "Whenever I talk to dad about it, it's like an intellectual debate," she said. "It's serious but it's not emotional."
Willow Smith also revealed that her first experience with understanding sexuality was when she walked in on her parents having sex. Oopsie. (Pinkett Smith was clearly completely caught off guard by this revelation.)
"I was going downstairs to get some juice, and I saw for a little moment and I ran away," Smith told her Pinkett Smith. "I was like, ‘Oh, my God! This is so crazy. What did I just see?'"
Smith said she realized she had "overstepped a boundary." She continued, "It would be like if I walked in on you meditating. When mommy's meditating, don't get in her business."
Pinkett Smith described her own first sexual experience as "amazing" — and amazingly, Smith and her BFF did not flee from the set screaming, "TMI! TMI! TMI!" But Pinkett Smith's mom admitted that her own beginning with sex was not a happy one and that her inner monologue was, "Boys are dirty, don't let them put their tongues in your mouths — we as women have been trained that."
The bombshell revelation for the table was when Pinkett Smith recalled her own grandmother being the one to teach her about masturbation. "My grandmother taught me about self-pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that pleasure was from me," Pinkett Smith explained. "She didn't want me to fall into the hands of a man and, if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. And she taught me at 9 — at 9!" Whoa. My grandmother made angel food cakes and asked me if "oral sex" meant talking dirty.
And there was orgasm chat. Lots of it.
"I think by your age, I gave myself multiples first, multiple orgasms. I did," Pinkett Smith told her daughter's friend, Telana Lynum. I was really into it at one point. Just because I was in an exploration state and I was abstaining from men. And I actually think I went through kind of an addiction too with it… And then one day, I was like, ‘Enough. You're having five orgasms a day.'"
At which point her daughter's face became a future meme, jaw dropping to table. "That's some next-level," she replied.
The women covered the topic of monogamy, as well. Willow Smith said, "That feeling of ‘you're my one and my only, there's no else,' for me, that would not work."
Banfield Norris, despite her initial reluctance to talk birds and bees on the episode, praised her daughter near the end of the show, saying, "I'm so happy for you — in regard to your sexuality, because you've always been pretty free, I think. I just didn't have that."
Times are changing — and we're loving the courage these women had to get real about sex in a positive, supportive way. Might not work for every family, but it's nice to see it happen.