It’s a whole new world — and a whole new look — for Kim Kardashian West, and we are so willing to take a magic carpet ride with her while Aladdin’s busy mugging quince sellers with his monkey.
Look, maybe it’s the wig curled upon her head and shoulders like an unhappy raccoon. Maybe it’s the cruise-to-nowhere lip color that no Kardashian would ever be seen dead in (as, you know, a Kardashian). Maybe it’s the hamentashen-size gilded triangle earrings that are making us kind of hungry. Maybe it’s the odd eyebrow action. Maybe it’s just Kim Kardashian West’s obvious reverence for the fictional character of Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin. We can’t say. All we know is that we are transfixed by this truly mad makeover and can’t stop watching the video, presented by YouTube makeup artist extraordinaire Kandee Johnson.
Johnson and Kardashian West are squealing like piglets over this Disney cosplay transformation, I tell you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kardashian West this animated (again, maybe it’s the eyebrow situation — you be the judge).
“I love Jasmine. She’s my favorite Disney princess, so I’m so honored to be turned into her,” Kardashian West tells Johnson breathlessly in the makeup tutorial. Because the world needs more makeup tutorials for Disney characters. I can’t think of a better way to slay that next job interview or score that promotion than arriving as, say, Jasmine or Belle ready to rumble.
I’m just going to come out and say it: I was devastated for Kardashian West when she video-phoned daughter North as Jasmine. Because Northie don’t cosplay like that, and has exactly zero patience with her mother playing dress-up with Johnson instead of her.
The Monday tutorial gets fully tragic at the 10:05-minute mark, when Kardashian West flips the F out in sheer delight over her final appearance. “I’m going to call North. She’s going to die,” Kardashian West raved. “I’m going to tell her I’m Princess Jasmine.”
Johnson — who clearly has never met a 4-year-old — agrees. “Who wouldn’t want their mom to be a princess?” she says.
We’ll tell you who: North West, that’s who. North wasn’t buying any of this Disney crap and Dollar Store earring action.
North’s response: “Nooooooo!”
North then proceeds to tell her mom that she doesn’t look a damn thing like Jasmine. I am writhing just typing this sentence.
“I don’t? After all that hard work?” Kardashian West said, her curly eyebrows twisting to suggest inner soul death. To make matters worse, North calls her mom ‘Kim.’ “You’re really Kim,” North says, obviously bored out of her mind. Kardashian West is trying not be crushed, but the brows are not helping convey nonchalance. “No, it’s not; it’s Jasmine!” she says again, desperately.
The deathblow was then dispatched by North: “It’s Kim! Your voice doesn’t sound like Jasmine!” OMG, can we all chip in and send Kardashian West some flowers or an actual magic carpet?
After the unsuccessful “reveal,” Kardashian West tells Johnson, “Well, that was a bust.” Yes, yes, it was, Kim. But we can’t stop watching you, so there you go.