OMG, you guys. Chrissy Teigen took daughter Luna to a playground, and they went on a slide and exactly zero people were crushed, bloodied or maimed. But that didn’t stop the playground-phobes and mom-shaming hordes from slamming Teigen for this innocuous Instagram pic of sweet mama-daughter time.
The caption: “Weeeee are very skeptical of slides right now.” You know who else is apparently skeptical of slides right now? Teigen’s commenters, whose responses to the photo are a delight (not) to peruse. If you have low blood pressure and want to kick it up a notch, spend a little time on Teigen’s feed, and voila: You’ll be rarin’ to go. Here’s just a sampling of the doomsday heralders’ ominous portents:
“Just a heads up that this can break your little one’s leg! I have three friends who have had this happen!”
“Adults shouldn’t slide with a child in their lap. Their legs can get twisted and break. OUCH!”
“OMG this makes me cringe after seeing a friend go down the slide like this with their baby and seeing the baby’s leg break!”
For the love of God, let’s all take a deep breath and reexamine the photo.
Teigen’s legs are as long as the slide. In other words: That is not a very big slide, people.
Teigen is wearing a skirt, which telegraphs to us that she is likely not planning a vigorous cardiovascular playground workout using Luna as a landing mat.
The sweet outdoor bonding happening in this photo way beats wrapping a toddler in Bubble Wrap and duct tape and keeping them indoors until they are 18.
Look, we’re not saying nobody gets injured on playground slides — for sure, it happens, as detailed in this article about the potential danger of sliding with your kid — but there is no scary violent high-velocity sliding going on here. The only high-velocity impact? Teigen’s comeback to all the unsolicited parenting advice.
“Wish you guys would have told me about the leg thing earlier. They broke. Both of them. And everyone else’s in the park broke too just from watching it happen. There are so many broken legs here (heads up photos are a one second in time, I was lifting her onto my lap).”
Fortunately, a lot of Teigen’s fans share her sense of humor. Best commenter response to the slide pic? “One time I didn’t go down the slide when I went to the park, so it chased me. When it caught me, it broke my legs.” Yas, you win, commenter person!
Teigen and Luna can playdate with us any time. We love Teigen’s irreverence and her commitment to keeping it real. After all, motherhood is not a spectator sport, right? So let’s just assume we’re all doing the best we can, OK? And maybe stop with the dire warnings unless there’s a really good reason? In the immortal words of one of Teigen’s commenters, “Geez my parents pegged me to the clothesline and spun it around when I was a toddler, I am pretty confident @chrissyteigen is putting safety first.”
Cool. Glad we got that settled.