Actor Mayim Bialik has some pretty strong words for moms who treat motherhood like it’s a competitive sport. On Thursday, the Big Bang Theory star shared an impassioned Facebook vlog titled, “Why Are Moms So Competitive?” In the confessional, she detailed an experience that left her ego bruised more than a decade ago.
“When I was a new mom 13 years ago, I went to a mom’s group at a local retail store. I instantly felt out of place,” she began. Bialik is the mother of two sons, Miles, 12, and Frederick, who is 9.
“I used cloth diapers. I didn’t use pacifiers or bottles,” she said. “I didn’t have fancy clothes, and neither did my baby. I didn’t have a manicure. I mean, I barely had time to shower. How was I gonna have time to get a manicure?”
Basically, Bialik joined the group as prepared as she felt a new mom could possibly be. However, the group’s dynamic was more about bragging than bonding. “Women at this mom’s group were encouraged to brag about how fast their labor was, how precocious their babies were with pooping, rolling over, sitting up, smiling,” she said.
“Everything was a competition,” she continued. “These were not my people. I left in tears!” Bialik then posed a question for viewers. “Why are moms so competitive?” According to Bialik, there’s a simple reason behind the competitive spirit many women often feel inclined to wield against fellow moms.
“I think that competition comes about because we are the first generation of women who were raised after the revolutionary turmoil of the women’s movement and were the first generation who was constitutionally raised to believe that we can and should do it all,” she theorized.
The outspoken star’s observation struck a chord with a number of fans. Many agreed, while others have taken issue with Bialik’s sweeping conclusion — or felt judged by Bialik’s own statements about, well, feeling judged.
“I felt very judged by moms who started conversations with ‘I use cloth diapers and don’t use bottles.’ This blog brought back all of the feelings of failure,” commented Jen Egan Cranston.
While Bialik may not have found the sense of community she sought more than a decade ago, considering the number of likes her vlog attracted, at least we can hope she’s found some sort of community on Facebook.