A kid’s lemonade stand has to be one of the last unspoiled bastions of perennial childhood. I mean, nobody in their right mind would mess with a sweet kid and her summer entrepreneurship. Surely some things are sacred, right?
Mwahahahahaha. You fail the quiz! This is quite literally the end of humanity!
The world is now so grim, 13-year-old Jasmine LaRoche was harassed by a complete jackass (and coward — he would not give his name) who demanded her “business license” for her lemonade stand and threatened to call the police when she couldn’t produce one.
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Jasmine was set up across from the main entrance of her family’s gated community in Discovery Bay, California — the safest place her parents could think of besides their own driveway, which wouldn’t have seen many drive-by customers.
Jasmine’s dad, Richard, was so incensed by the bully, he wrote an open letter and posted it on Facebook. The story was scooped up by local KTVU broadcaster Frank Somerville and shared to a wider Oakland, California, news community.
“Whoever the man (I wouldn’t call you that if I didn’t have to) was who threatened to call the police on my daughter for her lemonade stand, you are seriously pathetic,” LaRoche said on Facebook. “…She is trying to do something constructive with her time and you hassled her for no good reason. Sorry if her ambition threatened you… I understand that you are upholding the ‘law’ but really, dude? You’re the reason kids lack ambition nowadays — fear caused by schmucks like you… She said you picked up your phone and said you were calling the police. We all know you did that to intimidate her. Just sad and pathetic.”
Truly, this guy deserves to be waterboarded with fresh lemonade squeezed by the small, ambitious fists of a thousand lemonade-stand kids. Who the hell asks a kid for a license and bullies her with a fake cop call?
Jasmine was terrified and arrived back home “crying and sobbing and said she didn’t want to go to jail,” according to an interview her dad did with The San Francisco Gate.
After LaRoche posted the incident on Facebook, the community rallied around Jasmine with love and support. So the whole family got back out there again, this time in front of their family home. If the guy tried anything, Papa and Mama LaRoche could beat the crap out of him for trespassing. (OK, so we’re just fantasizing about that. No one beat up anyone.)
Jasmine’s business was a hot success… she had customers for three straight hours the second time around. And get this: Her last two customers of the day? A few police officers happy to be accomplices to a lemonade-stand crime.
We love it. Take that, Lemonade Stand Bully.