Mom Confesses to Making Breast Milk Brownies for School Bake Sale
Breast milk is great for babies, but hey, that doesn't mean we're hankering to replace the creamer in our morning coffee with the stuff.
One anonymous mom said she whipped up some brownies for a school bake sale — and one of the ingredients was her breast milk.
Just no. Hard pass. Ewwwwww.
Her online confession is, not surprisingly, garnering quite a bit of attention. Sanctimommy shared it on its Facebook page:
Honestly, what was she thinking? Breast milk is fab for babies, but it's still a damn bodily fluid — and most people are a wee bit squeamish about the bodily fluids of strangers.
As one commenter put it (no punches pulled), "It's a fucking body fluid!!! I breastfeed I am totally breastfeeding but if you feed me or my kid your body fluid I am going to blow a gasket too."
The CDC does say that the chance of transmitting a disease via breast milk is low, but it's not impossible. Breast milk can in fact contain STIs as well as small amounts of alcohol and drugs ingested by the breastfeeding mother.
The mom's excuse that she didn't have time to dash to the store for some regular old milk didn't sit well with, well, pretty much anyone.
One commenter slayed us with her assessment of the situation. "I totally understand! Over the weekend my kid [sic] were having a lemonade stand, the faucet was too far away so I used vodka instead of water. Now my neighbors are bugging out, like hello how about a thank you since your kids actually took a nap!!!"
Others expressed similarly horrifying and hilarious sentiments. "It's like that one time I made lemonade with my urine because I ran out of water and didn't feel like going to the store to get more. I only drink Perrier so they were getting, like, the best urine ever. I don't know why everyone was so mad about it."
Another said, "Oh my gosh, YES, the only way I can get my kids to drink breast milk is by slipping it into baked goods, breakfast cereal, etc. They're in their 20s, so they're not as receptive to latching on anymore, but I'll be damned if I'm going to deprive them of Mommy's precious nutrients."
But the mom — still anonymous, which is probably lucky for her — defended her substitution.
"I didn't think it was a big deal," she wrote. "Some of those kids could use the nutrition, let's be honest."
OH, NO SHE DIDN'T.
Yes. Yes, she did. She squirted her boob fluid into brownies for public consumption, then proceeded to judge other school parents for the care and feeding of their children.
We're pretty sure this mom isn't going to get invited to book club or bunco parties anymore.
Some folks are convinced this is all an elaborate ruse, as most brownie recipes don't call for milk of any kind. What gives? The anonymous posting means we may never know. But one thing is for sure. Breast is not always best, folks. In fact, in this case, if this really went down? It's the ultimate worst. *Shudder*