From time to time on hearing about the co-sleeping arrangement at our house, someone would venture the question, “What about sex?” I would toss my hair and summon my inner Mae West (if I could arch my eyebrow, I would have). “You only have sex in your bed? Yawn.” Generally this would put an end to the questions. But it’s true. The logistics can be difficult. To be clear though, parenting makes the logistics of sex difficult regardless of sleeping arrangements. It may not be the same ease of rolling over and getting at it that it used to be, but you’re a mom. You can do anything. Even it.
Think outside the bedroom
You have a floor don’t you? Couch, kitchen counter, car in the garage? It may take a bit of ninja-ing to slip out of bed, and you might feel too tired to make the effort, but do it. You’ll feel better and sleep better afterward. Research published in the journal Psychological Science indicates that the afterglow from one sex encounter lasts two days. That’s a pretty good payout! So close the bedroom door on your sleeping kiddos, channel your inner horny temptress and get it on, on whatever flat surface you can get your ass on. Beds are for sleeping!
Take matters into your own hands
Our arousal hormones operate in a cyclical manner… the more you get, the more you want, which means you probably will get more, ad infinitum (I hope!). The hormones released at orgasm are the same hormones that increase libido. Think of it like a muscle: use it or lose it. So if you happen to find yourself with a little time on your hands (*ahem*), you may want to give yourself a “work out.” If you want to splurge a bit on a toy, Lelo is a luxury European brand that makes high-quality sex toys. Bonus points for discreet packaging. The letter carrier doesn’t need to know all your business.
Co-sleeping is wonderful. It’s a nice way to get cuddle-time in with your kids, and there’s nothing better than sleeping beside your babe to facilitate breastfeeding. But you don’t necessarily have to sleep beside your kids for the whole night to reap the benefits. Experiment with laying down with your kids at bedtime, then getting up and having your sexy time once they’re asleep. This is a little dangerous, as the risk of falling asleep yourself is high, but try to keep yourself awake with the promise of future pleasure or make a deal with your partner to wake each other up if one falls asleep. Also a dangerous proposition, I admit, but I know you. Danger is your middle name! Or try having your kids sleep in their room (they can sleep together if that’s easier) and bring them to your family bed if they wake in the night.
Make it count
I’m not knocking the advantages of the quickie (aka the parents’ usual). It gets the job done, and sometimes that’s all you can ask. But when you do have the opportunity to spend some time rutting, to get down and dirty the way you imagine all those kids on Tinder do, make it count. Get out the massage oil (yes, I mean lube) put on the sexy uncomfortable lingerie (you won’t be wearing it long) and maybe call in some reinforcements. No, not Tinder reinforcements. Like the reaches-just-the-right-spot and stays-on-just-the-right-spot kind of reinforcements. Just saying.
Afternoons can be delightful
Your kids might not be old enough for a sleepover just yet, but I’ll bet they can handle an afternoon playdate! Getting them out of the house can help put the wind in your sails. No having to keep your ears open for tiny footsteps tripping down the hall to kill your buzz, no holding yourself in positions that will hopefully cause the least emotional damage should they be witnessed by prying eyes. Having the house to yourself can be freeing, and getting the house to yourself is more logistically possible in the daylight hours. So pay the neighbor girl to take the kids to the park for an hour or two and delight in the pleasures of an afternoon.
Co-sleeping doesn’t mean the end of sexy times. Just get creative and get on with it!