15 Ways Being a Mom Is Like Being Claire Underwood

If you’re a House of Cards fan, you’ll still be talking about the premiere of Season 5 on May 30. The Netflix spectacular is an amusing, honest look at politics from the inside — the side that’s reserved for the powerbrokers of our country.

The show puts a spotlight on the relationship between President Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) and his first lady, Claire Underwood (Robin Wright). The developing plot along with its characters and their storylines is just as much about marriage, power struggles and mutual respect as it is about politics. Claire Underwood, the queen bee of the series, is a protagonist and a leader. Being a mom, a wife and a matriarch is no different — right?

Here’s how being a mom is like being Claire Underwood.

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1. You’re always lobbying for something

Moms have some pretty strong beliefs when it comes to what is best for their family. Put a mom up against a lawyer in a PTA meeting — it’s no contest.

2. Every now and then you just need a few drags of a cigarette

You know… a “cigarette.”

3. In a previous life, you were a whimsical princess

You were also the girl who would dance on bars in protest of last call, but who really even has time to think about what life was like before kids?

4. Your own clean water initiative has more to do with flushing toilets

Your younger kids and your one older (hubby, we’re talking to you!) have an on-again, off-again relationship with the flusher handle.

5. You know better than to tell your husband about your previous relationships

Telling him about past indiscretions only takes away from that whimsical princess fantasy we discussed earlier.

6. Your attempts to be pragmatic don’t always succeed

While you try to go into every family situation with astute pragmatism, you simply cannot be held accountable for what happens when your caffeine kick wears off.

7. Society may see you as first lady, but let’s be honest: at home, you’re nothing short of president.

Despite ongoing male and female equality issues in our country, it’s no secret who rules the roost at home.

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8. You’ve got the whole first lady gig on lock

Claire and Frank work because of their mutual respect. You show the same for your husband and you’re an incredible leader in the family. Life just wouldn’t work without you.

9. You’ve perfected the role of ‘ice-queen wife’

Specifically, when your husband claims he didn’t hear the baby crying in the middle of the night. You have a doctorate degree in throwing shade and have no problem putting that diploma to good use. A husband is a partner, and when he’s not being a good partner, you throw that cold shoulder his way.

10. You manipulate situations when you have to

You also bribe when necessary and feel remorse almost never. A mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. “Oh, you want to watch TV before bed? Come over here and help me with this laundry first, OK? Thanks.”

11. You demand equality in your household

While parenthood isn’t a job you get paid for, you believe you and your partner should have shared responsibilities when it comes to the house and the children. (None of this 80 cents on the dollar crap.)

12. You’re constantly vying for attention with the media

When you address the nation (ahem, your children), you’re competing against enemy No. 1 (ahem, those iPads). “Guys! Here I am! Pay attention to me for one god damn minute.”

13. You’re like a duck above water

Cool, calm and collected on the surface, your feet are paddling so fast underneath trying to keep your shit together. (This is a literal House of Cards reference here, people. At any moment, those cards can collapse. You’re acutely aware of this.)

14. The only time you have for yourself is late at night

You contemplate going for a jog like Claire Underwood would, but that ice cream in the freezer won’t stop shouting your name out loud.

15. Every day brings new challenges

But you never give up. You persevere, not only because that’s the type of person you are, but because that’s the type of example you want to set for your children.

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