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Help Name April the Giraffe’s Baby, Because What Else Are You Doing?

Oh, don’t even try to pretend you’re not invested in the name of April the Giraffe’s adorable baby boy. We saw you there, bleary-eyed and slamming Red Bull and monitoring the April birth cam for a month straight. You put in a lot of time being a virtual doula. So why shouldn’t you have a say in the (not-so-) little guy’s name?

After a first phase of open voting, Animal Adventure Park has revealed the top 10 names submitted to its “Name April’s Baby Boy” contest, and it’s time to vote on them. Get your popcorn and see which ones strike your fancy.

More: One mom’s April the Giraffe spoof went viral

In alphabetical order, here are the top choices. Disclaimer: We have STRONG FEELINGS about baby names — even giraffe baby names — and we will not apologize for them.

“Alyssa’s Choice”
If this option wins, the calf’s keeper, Alyssa, will get to name the calf, which actually sounds totally fair to us. Because, have you tried to babysit a child that’s already three times your size? Alyssa deserves a little extra say in the matter, at least, we think.

Pretty sure he was not the god of giraffes, but OK.

Those of you who like English breakfast tea and Benedict Cumberbatch, take heed. But it’s also the name of the Toys R Us mascot, which could totally land the little lad (and the zoo) the ultimate corporate sponsorship.

Cute and Italian, like a Vespa.

What up with that spelling, Harpurians?

How biblical! We see what you did there, ark lovers.

Ollie Ollie Giraffenfree is totally a thing, right?

Pirates or Robin Williams as Patch Adams? Nope, hard pass.

He’s a giraffe, not a quilt, you guys.

For the love of God, let us honor April’s exhausting 15-month pregnancy and birthing with something befitting of a strapping giraffe and not a Yankee Candle scent.

More: We’re living for April the Giraffe’s live-cam birth

Fans can now vote for their favorites — and each vote will set you back a buck, with a minimum of five votes per entry. We think that really means your vote costs five bucks to get into the fray, but OK. It’s for a really good cause. All proceeds will go to giraffe conservation and the care of Animal Adventure Park residents. And somebody has to be sure this poor baby boy doesn’t get named Unity or Harpur with a U.

You have until April 30. Get naming, friends! The name will probably be announced on May 1, and you can see how he feels about it on May 2, when the livestream will be up and running once more. Place your bets now.

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