Welp, here’s the good news: If you’re divorced and think it sucks, you’re not alone. Hilary Duff totally agrees with you. Sisterhood!
Here’s the bad news: If being divorced sucks for Hilary Duff and her dating options are “terrible,” all of us who are divorced are probably extra-screwed.
We find it kind of hard to believe that Hilary Duff’s dating options are terrible. Otherwise, we are down with everything she had to say in her candid interview in April’s Redbook about life post-divorce.
Duff, who split from Mike Comrie in 2016, says she’s struggling with dating as well as co-parenting (despite her reportedly amicable relationship with Comrie). The couple shares custody of 4-year-old Luca Cruz Comrie, which isn’t always easy.
Duff said, “Some of my friends tell me, ‘God, it must be so nice, you get a break from your kid because you share him.'” But Duff hasn’t seen it as a bonus. “I’m divorced and it sucks,” she said, before adding, “Well, it did suck for a while; now it’s just normal.” Normal is better than suckage, for sure, but she’s right: the break from your kids doesn’t make up for the time lost with them, ever.
Duff completely nailed a rarely discussed grief that often comes with divorce: “I’ve gotten over the fact that I’m not going to have a baby that’s close in age with Luca. It sucked when everyone would be like, ‘When are you having another?’ I’d be like, ‘Do you know what’s happening right now? I’m not having another.’ …’When’s the baby?’ You have a baby: ‘When’s the next one?’ I’m cherishing the now. Besides, watch: I’ll probably get some evil spawn of Hilary the next time around.” Somehow we doubt that Duff will produce the twins from The Shining any time in the future, but yeah, those of us who are divorced know that fear… and the pangs of sadness that come with the realization that the person you loved is no longer part of your baby-making future.
And what of the mom guilt that multiplies exponentially post-divorce while you’re worrying that you’ve scarred your kid(s) for life and should probably take them to Disneyland every day to make up for it? Yeah, Duff feels you on that one.
“I always feel torn or guilty about something,” she said. “I’m not working right now, and at first I stressed about that, like, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t stay still this long.’ And that’s ridiculous. I have a child; it’s totally fine to not be slammed all the time. It feels really good to not be on someone else’s schedule — besides Luca’s. I’m basically his chauffeur!”
Most of us don’t have the luxury of not working post-divorce — all the single mamas gotta pay the bills. But the chauffeur action — oh yes, we know that gig inside out.
Divorce does suck, but keep your chin up. It gets better, we promise. And you probably won’t ever need to go on Match or eHarmony, so there’s that.