The bad news: Jessa Duggar Seewald and Ben Seewald should probably not be allowed to name plants, pets or children.
More: We Are Waiting With Bated Breath to Hear Jessa Duggar Seewald’s New Baby’s Name
Baby No. 2 fared better than firstborn Spurgeon, 15 months — in our humble opinion. The little guy’s new moniker? Henry (oh my God, great, just stop right there, Jessa and Ben) Wilberforce (theeeeere it is).
Henry Wilberforce. Kind of Star Wars meets Hogwarts meets Winston Churchill.
But whatever, at least they can stop calling the baby things like Hey You and Schmoopie and Promised Land and God’s Little Half Pint. We are sure Henry is relieved to have a name. And we are sure that Spurgeon is toddling over to see the name-change clerk at the town hall.
Why Wilberforce? We’re so glad you asked. He’s apparently named after William Wilberforce, a politician and philanthropist who somehow helped end the slave trade. Info released by the Duggar-Seewald clan does not elaborate on how old William gave slavery the smackdown or where. We feel a Wikipedia moment coming on. Or maybe we’ll just email Frederick Douglass for the scoop.
On Wednesday, the couple posted the very first pic of their new family of four — along with a video clip of Baby Seewald.
The couple decided on Henry simply because Jessa “really likes it.” Fair enough, Jessa.
“We just thought it was cute, but also there was another great man of God named Matthew Henry who lived before Wilberforce and he wrote a lot of great commentaries,” Ben explained in the video.
There’s Drunk History, and then there’s Vague History by the Duggars. Well, at least the kid has a name. Also? They gave Spurgeon a nickname — Quincy, obviously — so we’re not quite as worried about his prospects in life anymore. Hang in there, Spurge!
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.