Donna Martin, er, Tori Spelling is not my personal #LifeGoals queen. I’ll admit it. No hate, just a sense of sheer exhaustion and heartburn that washes over me when I look at her latest social media photos. Girl, you must be tired.
Spelling is expecting her — wait for it — fifth child with husband Dean McDermott. The two have had a notoriously rocky road, but things seem to be going pretty swimmingly for them (and Dean’s man seed). Not to mention Spelling, McDermott and their kids also recently brought home a pet pig, Nutmeg. You know. Like ya do, when you’re ready to pop and bring a fifth human into the world, because it’s getting so ho-hum. Pigs are the spice of domestic life!
Here’s the weird thing: Spelling been all over Instagram promoting that baby bump. And just yesterday, the Bump asked her nicely to please go get more Totino’s pizza rolls during the big game, but Spelling was all like, “Chill, Bump. I have to document our Super Bowl date on Instagram.” And then she posted, “Just #kickinit couchside with my bump and my furboo watching the #superbowl.”
But now it looks like Spelling has yanked the pic from her feed. Whyyyyyy? Why, Tori?
Admittedly, the photo made us want to haul her into an upright sitting position and force-feed her Pepto (I would have had dragon flames scorching my esophagus attempting Spelling’s laid-back pregnancy recline). OK. We confess we were worried about her posture. But still. Were you worried your braids were too Kirsten Dunst? They weren’t, doll. You just do you.
Spelling and McDermott — married since 2006 — are already parents to Liam, 9, Stella, 8, Hattie, 5, and Finn, 4. Can somebody bring me a cot so I can take a nap? Dang, Tori. You make the rest of us 40-somethings look like dried-up, barren underachievers. Good luck with the pig. And baby Nutmeg. Oh, wait. The pig is Nutmeg? Just send us a birth announcement. This is getting too confusing.