Everybody knows that yesterday was a big day in the life cycle of planet Earth, with Beyoncé and Jay Z announcing that twins are on the way. (Insert sound of choir of angels and visual of knocked-up backup dancers.)
The image — posted by Bey herself to Instagram — zipped to the top-liked photo of all time on the social media platform. (Sorry, Selena Gomez, whose smoldering Coke bottle photo dropped to second. Wah.)
Dat photo tho. Um, can we just talk about it? Like we’re in art history class and we’re trying to figure out why Vermeer added the skull behind the cat and why the candle is only dripping on one side?
We tried not to overthink it, Beyoncé.
But we can’t help ourselves. We are mere mortals, after all, full of questions and speculation and tweets. And we saw what you did there with Lemonade, OK? That thing was packed. Our weak minds are still reeling.
If you haven’t seen it (and why haven’t you??), this photo features a serene and vaguely pissed-off Beyoncé kneeling totally casually in front of a massive, Volkswagen-size floral arrangement wearing — gasp — mismatched lingerie. Oh, and a super-bizarre green veil thingy. Could it be… all… signs?
Hell yes. You know Beyoncé didn’t just wake up in that ensemble and trip in front of some poorly chosen funeral flowers. The panties and the bra didn’t match, people. THEY DID NOT MATCH. That is not the normal way of the Bey.
Closer examination reveals a wee pink bow on her embroidered burgundy tulle Agent Provocateur bra — oh suuuuuuuuuure that means nothing, nothing at all — and baby-blue Dauphine panties by Liviara (see the lengths we go for you? Now you too can dress like Beyoncé’s twins announcement for Halloween).
If that pink bow and those baby-blue bottoms don’t mean a girl and a boy for the Carters, we’d be mighty surprised. Want to bet us a pizza? Or, you know, an oversized floral arrangement?
And no, no, we have no idea what the green veil signifies either. Smog? Global warming? Paranormal ectoplasm? Or emerging fashion trend?
TRENDWATCH 2017 pic.twitter.com/N6a38I0J4o
— Molly McGlew (@MollyMcGlew) February 1, 2017