The First Good News of 2017: Beyoncé Is Pregnant With Twins
We’re fairly certain there’s only one person in the universe who can get away with revealing big baby news while kneeling on a possible grave in front of a Mafioso funeral floral arrangement wearing only a bra, satin panties, a limp ectoplasm green veil, requisite baby bump and a stoic Virgin Mary expression.
Our darling firecracker deity Beyoncé! Her womb is brimming with Knowles-Carter goodness times two. That's right: Beyoncé's having twins!
Oh, Beyoncé. How did you know? How did you time this news so perfectly? We were so sick of 2017 until this. We were sick of everything. And now you have reached down from your floral heavens and lifted our souls just when we needed you most. Thank you. Thank you.
Everything's going to be OK, people. It's all going to be OK.
Below are some of our favorite tweets about Beyoncé's big news: