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Janet Jackson’s new mom life involves being ‘waited on hand and foot’

No biggie, y’all. BET Ultimate Icon Janet Jackson and her hubby, Wissam Al Mana, just welcomed their first child — son Eissa — into the totally, completely normal life that is what you get when you combine an heir to the Jackson pop throne with a Qatari business magnate who is reportedly worth $1 billion and oversees 55 companies. You know. Just regular folks. Nothing to see here.

Word has it that Eissa was delivered on Jan. 3 by an all-white, stork-driven Lamborghini upholstered in a classic cream leather. There have been rumors of a diaper malfunction, but these rumors remain unconfirmed at the time of this publication.

“It was an easy birth,” a source close to Jackson told US Weekly. Janet’s publicity rep said, ”Janet is resting comfortably.”

But “resting comfortably” means something quite different when you’re Ms. Jackson. “Family insiders” revealed that the new mom and baby are living “a lavish life,” compliments of Al Mana’s massive army of licensed pamperers. “Nurses are waiting on them hand and foot.”

Whaaa?! Really? Nurses do that?

Details of this hand-and-foot care have not been released. We’re guessing baby Eissa’s already been treated to reflexology, Tibetan singing bowls and a Dead Sea salt scrub to help him relax, but don’t quote us on that.

More: Janet Jackson’s baby conspiracy theory is even crazier than Beyoncé’s

What’s next for the Jackson-Al Mana Three? Friends say the family awaits imminent visits from big brother Jermaine as well as Jackson’s mom, Katherine. Move over, hand-and-foot nurses — this lady’s had 10 kids and you can bet she knows her way around a diamond-studded burp cloth.

Don’t expect any other new releases (besides Eissa) for a while, Jackson fans. In April, Jackson put her Unbreakable World Tour on the back burner to concentrate on family, saying, “I have to rest up, doctor’s orders! But…I will continue the tour as soon as I possibly can.”

No new tour dates have been announced, and hey, if we were at the postpartum epicenter of round-the-clock white-glove handling, we wouldn’t be releasing any tour dates either. Because WAITED ON HAND AND FOOT, PEOPLE.

In the meantime, fans will just have to make the most of Unbreakable. Jackson’s lead single from the album, “No Sleep,” was dedicated to Al Mana… but we’re thinking Jackson might rededicate that song to Eissa if the battalion of nurses and maids ever decides to go on strike.

More: Why being a new mom is the hardest job ever — and how to cope

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