If you’re a parent, you’re in need of one thing: a good laugh (and maybe a nap). From constant interruptions to kicking — yes, kicking — to prove one’s love, here are this week’s most hilarious tweets from parents. Your sanity will thank you.
1. Have patience
My New Year's resolution was to have more patience but, thanks to my kids, I broke that within 5 minutes of the New Year.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 3, 2017
My kid consumes more calories in the ten minutes after I announce it's bedtime than he does all day.
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) January 2, 2017
3. Sexy times
wife: Let's fool around after the kids go to bed
narrator: But they never did fool around
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 2, 2017
4. Who’s in charge?
*Puts one kid "in charge" for five minutes while I shower. Finally understands the inspiration behind Lord of the Flies.*
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 3, 2017
5. Valiant effort
My son just guessed that hiccups are when your lungs are farting, so I guess we're not going to have a doctor in family.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) January 3, 2017
6. Duh, parents
Go get a napkin? Why the hell would I do that when I'm already rocking these sweet ass napkin pants?
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) January 3, 2017
7. Love taps
My kids are taking turns kicking me to prove who loves me more, so, yeah, parenthood is full of precious moments I will treasure always.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) January 2, 2017
8. Good point
4: dad, can we get a dog?
Me: that would be a big job & take a lot of time you know?
4: If you watch less Netflix I'm sure it'll be fine.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) January 2, 2017
9. Bad stick
Oh, your kid loves to be outside? Mine blames all of nature for the time he tripped over a stick.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 3, 2017
10. Never fails
I'm just a mom, standing in front of my husband, trying to say something that I can no longer remember cause my kid interrupted us 75 times.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 2, 2017