Bad news, parents: Turns out we probably shouldn’t sleep anymore. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Please turn in your pillows at the desk.
Last week, The Wall Street Journal posted an article bemoaning the fact that it’s harder to keep the magic of Christmas alive now that kids might, for example, notice an increase in the number of boxes that arrive from Amazon in December and put two and two together or open up your Amazon account (which many of us set to automatically log us in) and view your order history.
“But wait,” you say. “Amazon doesn’t have to murder Christmas. I have a password for my iPhone and my kids could never get past that.” Well, Ashlynd Howell, a 6-year-old from Little Rock, Arkansas, begs to differ.
In a stunning little section of the article, hidden somewhere in the middle, is the story of young Ashlynd and her Mission Impossible-level phone-hacking skills:
“While [her mother] Bethany Howell napped on the couch…her daughter Ashlynd, 6-years-old, used her mother’s thumb to unlock her phone and open the Amazon app. ‘$250 later, she had shopped for all her Christmas presents on Amazon,’ said Ms. Howell.”
When the order notifications started coming in for Pokémon item after Pokémon item, Howell and her husband assumed Ashlynd had purchased them by mistake. Ashlynd was quick to put a halt to that line of thinking:
“‘No, Mommy, I was shopping,’ Ms. Howell said her daughter told her. ‘But don’t worry — everything I ordered is coming straight to the house.’ Ms. Howell added: ‘She is really proud of herself.'”
You’ve got to love that Ashlynd’s first concern was making sure her mom knew that she wasn’t going to have to go pick up any of her purchases. Convenience is key!
The Howells were only able to return four of the gifts, and the rest are all the Christmas gifts Ashlynd is going to get this year.
We’re sure there were some serious conversations within the family after this incident. We also suspect that Ashlynd’s mom has already burned off her fingerprints and bought Red Bull by the case from Costco.