Few things are more necessary when you’re a mom than a sense of humor. Without the ability to laugh at the insanity that is parenthood, you may as well not bother getting out of bed — because kids are straight nuts. From made-up toy requests to bedtime battles, here are this week’s funniest tweets from parents. We’re all in this together.
1. iPhone math
The photo gallery in my phone is
40% pictures of kids 40% videos of kids 10% screenshots from kids apps 8% kids selfies 2% me.
— 💀Mummy Curses💀 (@mommy_cusses) December 20, 2016
Watching a beautiful sunset here in the school parking lot waiting for band to end. Jk, I'm on Twitter. Oh crap, when did band let out?
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) December 19, 2016
3. Yeah, that’s gonna be a no
Kid just asked if we could get antlers and a red nose for our minivan and long story short, kid for sale.
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) December 19, 2016
That feeling when you're sick and you want your mom, but you remember you are the mom and no one cares.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) December 20, 2016
5. Get me home
This car is much too toddlery inside for me to be slowing down at yellow lights.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) December 17, 2016
6. Pizza > family
4-year-old: *eating pizza* This is what I love the most in the whole world.
Me: You forgot about your family.
4: No I didn't.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) December 17, 2016
7. Good Qs, guys
The children were nestled
all snug in their beds
until they had to pee
get a drink
show me they can whistle
and ask me if birds have teeth.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) December 20, 2016
8. Good luck, mama
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, get my kid to bed without a fight.
— The Tweeter Formerly Known As Manders (@mommywhitfield) December 19, 2016
9. We’ll see what he can do
I don't know, sweetie, it might be hard for Santa to find the toy you made up in your head on such short notice.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 18, 2016
10. Thanks, honey
[Married Pillow Talk]
Husband: Tell me what you want
Me: I want you to move the elf tonight.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 19, 2016