When your mornings consist of looking for an errant toddler shoe for 30 minutes and your nightly soundtrack is a chorus of But I’m not tiiired, then you can use a laugh. Here are this week’s funniest tweets from parents. Rest easy, moms and dads, knowing you’re not going at this crazy parenting thing alone — but Godspeed, friend.
1. That would be a no
"I'm so glad I got here 20 minutes early" and other things toddler parents never say.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 14, 2016
2. There’s an idea
Parents: name your kids things that are cool enough to be the name of a laser-tag team one day. Dongforce. Venom-Squadron. Murder Posse.
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) November 14, 2016
3. Deep thoughts
I love it when my kids ask deep philosophical questions like, "Is it tomorrow now?"
— Mama Got Bamboozled (@MamaBamboozled) November 13, 2016
4. Rest? LOL!
On the 7th day she rested. Just kidding. On the 7th day she did more laundry and cleaned the house.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 13, 2016
5. Ancient proverb
No one is as loud as the one who didn't put the kids to sleep.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) November 15, 2016
6. Sorry, kids
My family's mad I ate all the chocolate cake so I'm going to the store to buy more cake, little do they know imma eat all of this cake too.
— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) November 15, 2016
7. ‘Til the end of time
Becoming a mom means adding…
On your To-Do List for all eternity.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 14, 2016
8. Well, one difference
The main parenting difference between fathers and mothers is their willingness to allow their son to go pee in the backyard.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 13, 2016
That didn't count!
Ok, this one counts.
Oops, I didn't mean that
-my 6yo shooting hoops
-Trump reviewing his campaign promises
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 16, 2016
10. One of life’s great questions
4-year-old: How many tacos are there in the world?
4: That’s what I thought.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2016