Adele told fans at a recent gig that she was planning to expand her family as soon as her tour is over, but in her latest interview she’s revealed much, much more about her thoughts on having another baby — and it wasn’t a straightforward decision.
“I’m too scared,” she told Vanity Fair when asked if she wants more children (she has son Angelo, 4, with partner Simon Konecki). “I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me.”
The award-winning singer revealed that she didn’t take antidepressants, and that she was also “very reluctant” to talk about her illness. “My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘Fuck that, I ain’t hanging around with a fuckin’ bunch of mothers,'” she admitted. However, despite her initial reluctance, she found herself “gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children” because they were “a bit more patient.”
So many moms who have experienced postpartum depression will relate to Adele’s experience. According to the American Psychological Association, up to 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression. So if you’re in a group of new moms, chances are several of them are going through the same mental health struggles. And it’s so true that sometimes, you just know who’s been where you are without having to exchange more than a few words.
“I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other,” said Adele. “One day I said to a friend, ‘I fuckin’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I fuckin’ hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted.”
She also acknowledged that postpartum depression can come in many forms: “My knowledge of postpartum — or postnatal, as we call it in England —is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.”
Like Hayden Panettiere, Drew Barrymore, Alanis Morissette, Brooke Shields and all the other celebrity mothers who’ve opened up about having postpartum depression, it’s incredibly brave of Adele to share her experience — especially considering how much she guards her privacy. We might think we have nothing in common with the women who walk the red carpet, grace the covers of glossy magazines and have bank balances we can only dream of. But when you become a mom, none of that matters. Every one of us is susceptible to the stresses and anxieties of motherhood, and postpartum depression can affect anyone, regardless of their background or status.
So how did Adele deal with her mental health issues? She gave herself an afternoon a week “just to do whatever the fuck I want without my baby.” As she says, this doesn’t make you a bad mother: “it makes you a better mom if you give yourself a better time.”