I swore I’d never be one of those moms who over-scheduled her kids (as much for my sanity as for theirs) and I’ve honored that commitment until this year. It seems as the children get older, their activities multiply like dust. Without engaging in much, my week has filled with cross country track, crew, and theater for mye high schooler and musical theater, piano, and soccer for my first grader.
My heart sped up as I mapped out my week on the calendar, following a color-coding system, which also includes my husband’s professional clown gigs. Where is there a day with nothing on it? Pink, blue, purple, green on every day, with many days also having “More” to show me there is more than the little daily square can show.
I’m grateful for my decade of experience as an account manager at an advertising agency because modern motherhood requires me to be a multitasking extraordinaire.
Before I committed to full-time writing I contemplated returning to a corporate job. I spent several hours poking around LinkedIn and MediaBistro and some other career-oriented websites. While their job requirements seemed achievable, my qualifications were of another caliber altogether.
The last six years, outside the corporate world, I have accumulated a skill set which isn’t easily transcribed on a traditional resume. In addition to “running the household,” which involves keeping my family alive and our apartment from becoming mold-infested and the toilet paper stocked, I brainstormed a few critical roles I’ve occupied:
1. Accountant for our family and business taxes annually.
2. Research pro. I’ve done my homework on new fridges, best dance class, best soccer league, best gymnastics classes for 6-year-olds, best piano lessons, best drama classes, best camps, ice skating, what causes a rash without a fever, how long until you see symptoms for Lyme Disease? Researching from appliances to childhood enrichment to medical health, I’ve read twenty encyclopedias worth of research.
3. Professional chef, including daily vegetarian and pescatarian organic food preparation; no processed food.
4. Fashion designer. Camp color war means I’m spray painting and fringing (real verb?) spirit shirts or finding the perfect outfit for a birthday party (OR ALL SEASON LONG) or learning to make a homemade tutu.
5. Makeup artist. Halloween, headshot, happy days…
6. Hair stylist. Every single morning. I’ve mastered a french braid and a fishtail braid and something we call “princess hair.”
7. Chauffeur. I’ve got two children, in two different schools, in two different states (separated by a bridge with an outrageous $15 toll!)
8. Cheerleader/Coach: At track meets, recitals, plays — it’s my job to cheer them on.
9. Photographer/Documentarian. I’m the one keeping a record of our lives in pictures and words.
10. Birthday party planner. We’re in the children’s entertainment industry so every year I’m out doing myself.
11. Launderer. 8-10 loads each week, easy. I’ve turned it into an exact science where I split the loads between four different floors and use an alarm to keep track. Perks of living in an apartment building!
12. Nurse. I’ve memorized every WebMD entry there is.
13. Interior designer. I’ve moved 10 times in 20 years and five times in the last six years. I’ve been in charge of the painting and redecorating each time.
14. Contractor. I’m a pro builder of Ikea furniture and bathroom renovator might as well be my middle name.
15. Housecleaner. I’m the merry maid and not-so-merry mortified mom. I know my way around with the magic eraser.
16. Singer. Every night before bed and a rotating Beatles Rock Band performance on snow days.
17. Mind reader. Every mother’s special skill, which comes innately with the title.
Who’s ready to endorse me?
This post originally appeared on HeartsEverywhere.