My best friend's pregnancy forced me to face up to my own fears
I've had this one friend since we were 3 years old, and we share a great deal in common. We went to the same schools all the way through high school, we're both artistically inclined and highly neurotic and we both have former-actor moms. Our friendship is a rarity, because it's outlasted a number of big life changes, a series of moves and several bad boyfriend situations.
However, we've come to one particularly monumental life change that may end up separating us forever — she just became a mom.
Now let me preface what follows with this disclaimer: I'm so happy for her and her husband, and I do think she has everything it takes to be a great mom. That being said, when she got pregnant, I had a hard time thinking that positively.
Perhaps it's the way she told me. While she had opportunities to do it in person, she waited until she had no choice — when she bowed out of a wedding we had planned to attend together. It was in Colorado at high altitudes, and apparently that can be dangerous for an early-stage pregnancy. When she finally admitted why she wasn't coming, I felt totally betrayed. How could the girl who's totally on my level in every other way be ready for this step when I'm not, and why had she been keeping it from me for three months? The conversation between us went very much like this: