Nobody likes screaming babies. The general public, their own parents, heck — even screaming babies don’t like screaming babies. But nobody dislikes them more than the owner of Dublin eatery White Moose Café.
Paul Stenson is known for his outspoken views — his Facebook “battle” against vegans went viral earlier this year — and one of his recent posts takes aim at cranky infants.
“Dear parents,” he wrote.
“If you cannot control your crying (screaming) babies, I will crush up some valium and put it in their fruit juice. Babies are more than welcome in our café, but please ensure that they are asleep throughout the entire duration of their visit.”
He included one final note — “P.S. No charge for the valis. I have a lifetime supply.”
Predictably many parents have reacted exactly as Stenson hoped, generating even more publicity for his business.
“It is impossible to control a screaming baby in some circumstances,” commented Katie Kehlmann. “It must be a fantastic feeling to be in a position to pick and choose customers. Great business sense altogether.”
“It is possible. You give them a valium. Duh,” was Stenson’s response.
Facebook user Jam Panther wrote, “Business a bit slow this week? Whipping up an internet controversy? Or just addicted to the attention?”
However many others praised Stenson’s post, like Kathy Silke who wrote, “Thank you!!! It is the worst to go out for a nice meal and have some child screaming the place down a table over from you. I respect your choice to have a baby, please respect mine to sit and enjoy a meal without having to hear them.”
And the praise didn’t only come from those without children.
“Can you not give the valium to us parents?” joked Marie Teenans.
“I’m actually considering taking my kids to White Moose Cafe for the free Valium so I can have a nice time in Dublin!!!” was one of the best responses.
“As a mother… I take offence to this,” posted Lyss Maguire. “Valium has way too many side effects. Benadryl is much more effective ;)”
Any parents who are still taking offence at the post should know that it’s not only screaming babies Stenson has a problem with.
Only the previous day he left a scathing tongue-in-cheek message for customers complaining about the music in the café being too loud, telling them to “wear ear muffs” and “not sit right beside a f**king speaker.”
Whatever Stenson thinks about vegans, screaming babies and customers with sensitive ears, his Facebook posts are gold and you can bet they’re not doing his business any harm.