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Everything you think when watching Sesame Street but never, ever say

Watching Sesame Street is a childhood rite of passage, and one many parents can’t wait to share with their children. It’s amazing to sit down with your kids and watch the show you loved as a child become one of their favorites, too. But once you get over the nostalgia of singing that familiar theme song, you start to realize that perhaps Sesame Street isn’t quite as sunny as you remembered it as a kid. 

While your child is busy falling in love with Elmo, you may start to notice things you didn’t when you were younger, and by the time the end credits roll you’ll be left with questions much more pressing that what’s the number of the day. Here are some of the things you might start to ponder while watching Sesame Street as a mom.

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1. Since when does Elmo have parents? And where the heck were they in the ’80s?

2. Do those pointy teeth mean the Count is a vampire? How come he can go out in the sun? And who does he eat to survive?

3. Why are Zoe and Abby and Elmo crossing streets and running around the city without a grownup, but in the real world kids can’t be in their front yard alone without the cops getting called?

4. Do you think Chris resents working at Hooper’s store? Is it too late for him to go to college?

5. What’s the deal with Mr. Noodle? Does no one else think it’s creepy that a grown man is always peering into Elmo’s window?

6. Why are Abby and Zoe the only monsters who wear clothes?

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7. Bert and Ernie… what’s the deal with those two? Are they ever going to make it official, or what? If they did, the wedding colors would be probably be stripes.

8. How come Grover is the only monster who has a job? How does everyone else pay rent?

9. Who cleans up after Big Bird when he goes potty?

10. Wait a sec, where’s Snuffy?

11. Who on earth is Murray and what has he done with lovable Telly Monster?

12. Why doesn’t anyone correct Elmo when he talks about himself in the third person?

13. When did Oscar the Grouch become so relatable?

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14. Since when do monsters do magic? Did Abby get lost on the way to Hogwarts?

15. Does that blue fur mean Rosita is related to Cookie Monster? Or is she a distant relative of Elmo and Zoe?

16. Is that what I look like when I eat cookies?

17. Do you think Siri can tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

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