Many people who live north of the M25 consider London to be another country, and there’s plenty of evidence to back this up. Londoners earn more than people in the rest of the U.K., and they are more likely to eat organic food, have a degree and live in a teeny-tiny flat that costs more than a five-bedroom detached house in Manchester.
The people behind the account claim to pass on “overheard screams of consciousness from the ladies who brunch” plus “the sharpest tweets from our followers on the ground”.
Is it real? Who cares? It’s hilarious.
When the chauffeur phones in sick
"Ultimately we were forced to take the bus to school. Ghastly. Next time I'll just leave them with me at home."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) January 20, 2016
Lessons on how not to be racist might be an idea
"I don't need lessons from a German woman on how to be a thoughtful parent."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) January 19, 2016
If in doubt, blame the kids
"I'm mentally stagnant and I blame that squarely at the feet of the twins."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) January 1, 2016
Nothing like some gentle encouragement
"I'm not afraid to scold in a vocabulary that is two, maybe three years beyond his reading age."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) December 30, 2015
Friday night excitement in Highgate
"She's bringing her new man on Friday. A policeman. (Pause) Which should add a colourful accent to proceedings."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) December 23, 2015
Beware the dangers of public transport
"We're not going on the Tube as you haven't got your gloves."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) December 9, 2015
Perhaps that policeman could come in handy after all
"It takes it out of you, doesn't it? The terrorism, the crowds on Muswell Hill high street…"
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) December 8, 2015
“I just can’t find a fucking croissant for Eddie anywhere on the high street!”
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) December 3, 2015
Peer pressure at its worst
"My kids are horribly influenced by the playground to want to watch television."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 25, 2015
Or if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all?
"If you're going to speak loudly, darling… say something that's worth listening to."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 18, 2015
To wash down Eddie’s croissant, we expect
"Is the hot chocolate cocoa-heavy, or does it tinge towards the sugared and the saccharine?"
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 16, 2015
Poor, poor darlings
"The kids are furious. At lunchtime the wifi is so overloaded it's impossible to access YouTube."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 13, 2015
Unfortunately there’s a good chance the barista has a degree (or three)
(loudly, in coffee shop, to daughter) "Do you want an education? Or to end up working somewhere like this?"
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 9, 2015
As do wealth and rudeness?
"I'm a total liberal, but if we're honest poverty and laziness go hand-in-hand."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) November 4, 2015
There are no words
"When we order in Oriental takeaway an Arab-type man delivers it. That doesn't do anything for the Asian experience."
— Highgate Mums (@Highgatemums) September 28, 2015
*Disclaimer: Posh mums exist all over the U.K.