There’s a reason Twitter was invented — so parents could air their grievances and regale the hilarious things their kids did to parents who are five states away and they’ve never met in real life. OK, so that’s probably not the only reason Twitter was invented, but, as anyone with kids knows, it’s so nice to know that we’re not in this parenting thing alone. Here, the 10 most hilarious things from parents on Twitter this week.
1. Holy slowness
3yo wanted to learn how to tie her shoes so we should make it to the store around Valentine's Day.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) January 17, 2016
2. Mommy juice
5yo: "Mom, I know how to spell 'winner'. It's W-I-N-E."
Me: "…That's right, sweetie… That's right."
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 16, 2016
3. Do you speak Netflix?
6yr-old: I'm on Season 2, Episode 8.
Me: You know this? But you can barely rea–
6yr-old: I can read Netflix!
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) January 19, 2016
4. Messy kiddos
My kids had yogurt for breakfast so now it's like I'm living with the world's worst mimes
— Mommy Honesty (@momesty) January 18, 2016
5. More makeup?
Kid 1: You don't need makeup. You're beautiful without it.
Kid 2: More make up! Or nobody will like you!
Guess who gets more in the will.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 20, 2016
6. Too far?
I had to go change my pants, in case you're wandering what being 42 and trying to beat a 6 year old at the fart game during dinner is like.
— donofalltrades (@donofalltrades1) January 21, 2016
7. Story-telling kiddos
Dad, can I tell a story?
*47 plotless minutes later*
Okay, wrap it up.
*15 minutes later*
*24 minutes later*
— Rich Cromwell (@rcromwell4) January 20, 2016
8. Movies with kids
Movie tickets: $37
Listening to two five year olds bitch to go home for half the movie: priceless
— Northern Lights 💀 (@PinkCamoTO) January 17, 2015
9. Why are kids so messy?
The stain remover is called "Shout" because that's my immediate response when I see my son has ruined another shirt.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 19, 2016
10. Birthday bummer
First time your kid gets a bday party invite: Awww!
Second time: Oh, another one?
Third time: MAKE ANY MORE FRIENDS AND YOU'RE GROUNDED.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 21, 2016