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Why grandparents still need to be included after a divorce

Idalmis Arias

People often only think that the parents and children are the only ones affected by divorce — but there are many others, such as grandparents and other family members that are also affected by the split.

During my divorce, my main priority was to keep life as normal as possible for my son. He was used to seeing his paternal grandparents often, and I didn’t want this to change. To me, that bond between a child and their grandparent is so special. Grandparents are a gift. Their patience and love are unlike any other, and I wanted my son to be able to experience this relationship to the fullest.

More: Why spending special events with your ex could give your kids the wrong idea

I don’t leave the task of visiting grandparents to my son’s father. I put visits into my schedule. My son sees his paternal grandparents at least twice a month — once when his dad takes him and another when I take him. I also make sure he goes on holidays, such as Mother’s Day and Christmas. I also try to keep the grandparent visits even. My son visits his maternal and paternal grandparents equally. The last thing I need is jealous grandparents!

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Keeping lines of communication open among everyone is a must. I speak to my son’s paternal grandmother various times a week. I am attentive to how she is feeling, if anything is needed in their home or if she is lonely. I always had a good relationship with my ex-husband’s side of the family, and that did not change during or after the divorce.

Raising children after a divorce is hard work. It takes lots of planning, communication and understanding. The children are not at fault and their lives should continue to run as smoothly as possible.

More: I didn’t get to be the grandparent I wanted to be, and that’s OK

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