If you’re in the market for a baby shower gift, the creators of Joker Greeting have got you covered. For just $12, you can gift your expectant loved one with the sounds of interminable crying for three continuous hours.
Travis and Nick Peterson have created the card that plays the sound of an inconsolable newborn crying for three hours straight (yes, that’s actually an occupation). Its echoes won’t cease until the card is somehow destroyed (which is apparently very difficult to do), the battery dies or until three very long hours have passed.
Though this card could serve as the ultimate gag gift for your friends that consider puppies and babies one and the same, it’s hardly appropriate for an actual expectant mother. Moms-to-be are already flooded with an array of questions and emotions, and without proper support it’s easy to drown amid the many pending life changes. Scaring an expectant mother with the sounds of incessant crying is both cruel and unusual. Even if she has a great sense of humor, telling her that her future will be filled with tiny, inconsolable wails is probably not something she’d send a thank you card for.
Scare tactics are better reserved for college pranks and bar banter, not for pregnant women. However, it seems as though they’re put to use almost every day during a woman’s nine months of pregnancy. To make matters worse, they’re often at the hands of her own friends and family.
Perhaps people assume that expectant mothers need to be warned of the impending doom of their lady bits. Maybe they think that it’s appropriate to forewarn someone of the demise of the sex life, and maybe they’re under the assumption that expectant moms need to hear about how the absence of their sleep is going to turn them into a psychotic zombie. Or… maybe not.
Expectant mothers need all the support they can get. Sure, maybe your birth story is horrifying, but that doesn’t mean that hers will be the same. Bringing light to the dark days that may potentially come is a far cry from encouragement, and telling someone how trying those first few months of motherhood can be is of very little aid during their nine-month journey to the finish line.
Yes, those first few months can be difficult, but they’re also filled with immense joy and a deep, unbridled love for the little nugget they’re caring for. Sure, there are lots of smelly diapers, but there’s also that perfect, incomparable scent of a newborn baby. What new moms lose in sleep, they gain in love and happiness and complete elation. Of course it’s hard, but it’s also incredible.
So if you value your relationship with your expectant friend whatsoever, spare her the anxiety of a seriously sickening card and stick to her registry. Also, help change diapers and bring a casserole.