32 Things Moms of Boys Say Just About Every Day
Moms of boys, and especially moms of just boys, know there’s something kind of strange that happens when you're surrounded by little dudes. Of course, boys come in all shapes and sizes and have countless different styles, attitudes and preferences — not all of them are made of “snips and snails and puppy dog tails," and plenty of them play with dolls. That said, many moms agree it can be comically unique to watch a weird and wacky boyhood unfold before their eyes.
If you’re a mom of boys, perhaps you've said one of these little-boy catchphrases more than once? (Moms of girls, we know you've said these quite a bit too.)
1. "Is anything broken or bleeding? No? Then you’re fine."
2. "I know you know how to pee outside, but you still can’t do it in the front yard."
3. "Yes, you do have to wear pants to school. Everyone has to wear pants to school and to work. All. The. Time."
4. "Yes, you do have to shower. Why? Because you don't smell good."
5. "You don’t have to tell everyone when you fart."
6. "Don’t play with your poop. In fact, leave everything in the toilet where you found it."
7. "Remember to point at the toilet so your pee doesn't hit the wall."
8. "No, you both cannot use the same toilet at the same time. I don't care if one of you is sitting down."
9. "Who left the toilet seat up and didn't flush?"
10. "Are those rocks in your pocket?"
11. "Do not bring that inside! OK, fine. Just make sure not to kill it."
12. "You want thirds?"
13. "You just ate; how can you possibly be hungry?"
14. "Please don't use your shirt as a napkin."
15. "Please don't talk about poop at the dinner table."
16. "Please don't grab your penis in public."
17. "Please stop hoarding the baby food jars, collecting spiders and having spider fight club in the jars."
18. "Peeing on somebody else isn't funny (and it never will be)."
19. "Hats do not go on your penis. They go on your head."
20. "No, you can't use an egg as a baseball."
21. "Get your fingers out of your nose."
22. "Get your hands out of your pants."
23. "Get your hands out of your brother's pants."
24. "Do not blow your nose on the dog."
25. "Do not put that in your butt."
26. "Tie your shoe!"
27. "Pick up your smelly socks!"
28. "How come I keep finding your socks stuffed under things?"
29. "No, you can't keep extra food under your bed for later."
30. "Can you please stop jumping on your sister?"
31. "No, I don't want you to play the punch-me-in-the-face game."
32. "You have to stop wrestling when someone starts crying."