A mom has learned the hard way that it’s not enough to just pick a baby name just because you like the way it sounds. It’s important to run your top picks through a litany of tests before you make your final decision.
The mom wrote to an Australian magazine to tell the story of how she was duped by her soccer-loving husband when it came to picking the perfect name for their baby. It’s just a snippet — a tiny sidebar in Take 5 magazine — but it’s quickly getting attention for how bizarre it is:
How’s that for a lesson in doing your due diligence when it comes to picking out baby names? Just because something sounds nice to the ear doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a perfect name — or that there isn’t an embarrassing additional meaning buried in there somewhere. While a lot of stories that circulate about babies supposedly being named for body parts and diseases are pure urban myth, that doesn’t mean that if you’re weighing a name only on how it sounds you won’t end up with a little Lanesra or Looprevil of your own. Especially if you’re married to a soccer fan.
So what can you do besides avoid marrying someone who might one day use your child’s name as a means to pulling one over on you for a quick laugh? Run the names on your short list through the ringer by subjecting them to a number of tests before you decide once and for all.
1. The backward test
A lot of parents already do this, of course, although clearly some don’t. As the Lanas of the world will tell you, it’s really important to know what your child’s name spells when you write it backward, because if you don’t, their peers definitely will.
2. Google it, of course
If you’re tempted to pick a really out-there name, Google that bad boy before you go any further. You want to find out if that beautiful moniker you’ve been ruminating on for days has any other connotations you should know about, including ones you might not want associated with your kid, unsavory associations or definitions in other languages that are less than pleasant.
3. Triple-name your unborn baby out loud
We all know what it means to be triple-named: When you’ve done something so naughty that someone shouts your first, middle and last name at you by way of admonishment. Do that. A lot. Not only does it give you a lot of practice for when you actually have to do it, but it makes sure that your child’s name sounds right and is accidental profanity-free when you’re saying it all mushed together.
4. Check the initials
Obviously. Ask any Anna Sarah Smith how important it is to do the initial check.
Despite the completely out of order criticism this woman is getting from Internet strangers (well, it is Reddit), she seems to have a great sense of humor about something that would rightly piss off a lot of other women. At the very least, it’s clear both she and her husband got something they wanted in the baby naming process.
And frankly, with all the questionable, unfortunate or painfully trendy names people have been giving their kids in recent years, little Lanesra will surely fit right in.