Being a parent means constantly putting the needs of others before yours. Also, it apparently means finding peeled bananas in your cupboard. Feel like you’re going a little cuckoo? You’re not alone. Here are the 10 funniest parenting tweets from this week.
1. Getting a babysitter
2. Considering a lawyer
Spending all this time with my 5 children has made me contemplate putting a criminal defense attorney on retainer.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 27, 2015
Kids looking at Simon Says game: so how does it work?
me: you press the buttons and follow the sequence.
Kids: so it doesn't have wifi?
— M¥£€§ (@inigoomontoya) December 28, 2015
4. Peeled banana
Parenting is finding a peeled banana in the cupboard and getting yelled at by your toddler 4 days later because it's gone.
— Court (@Discourt) December 21, 2015
5. Dressing toddlers
If people had to put 2 toddlers in full snow gear before having unprotected sex, pregnancy rates would drop by 35% immediately. #science
— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) December 29, 2015
6. Grumpy dad
7. Texts from Justice
Made it to that level of dad where I get a text message from Justice clothing store when they have a sale.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 28, 2015
8. Who farted?
If I fart, blame it on one of the kids, and they claim it, am I now off the hook?
— Johnny T (@ThisIsJohnnyT) December 28, 2015
My kids are finally old enough to help me shovel the driveway and I now understand the magic of parenthood.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) December 29, 2015
10. Poking my turd
My son just yelled STOP POKING MY TURD.
I really need to start checking their XBox game ratings more thoroughly.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 29, 2015