When you’re a parent, you need to have a sense of humor. Also, you need to have friends to commiserate with — and if those friends are on Twitter (and, you know, you never meet them in real life), so be it. When we shower twice a week and occasionally eat mac ‘n’ cheese off the floor, we can’t be picky.
Here are 10 hilarious tweets from parents this week that will lift your spirits and make you smile, because hey, it’s nice to know you’re not the only person who finds pot holders in their purse.
1. Jingle bells
My daughter accidentally kicked me in the jingle bells and now I can hit all those high notes with Whitney Houston in O Holy Night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 16, 2015
2. Oh, what’s this?
I used to look for clues about what I did during a wild weekend; this morning I opened my purse and found two potholders.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 15, 2015
3. Happy holidays!
This weekend, my 6yo spread holiday cheer by going to our friends' houses and peeing all over their toilet seats.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 14, 2015
4. Late night
I miss my kids late at night when they're not awake to get me stuff.
— andy lassner (@andylassner) December 18, 2015
5. A little too blunt
1st child: Oh no, you're coughing, should we go to the doctor?
2nd child: Have some water
3rd child: Shut up or go outside
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) December 16, 2015
6. Stage Dad
Erin is the only 3rd grader in the principal cast of the school play. I'll be over here, congratulating myself for a job well-stagedadded.
— Shawn (@BackpackingDad) December 15, 2015
7. Vanilla yogurt paint
Oh, you painted the dining room? What do you call the color?
Vanilla Greek yogurt.
— Mommy Honesty (@momesty) December 14, 2015
8. Wrong gift
[opening xmas presents]
ME: What’s this?
KIDS: We got you a karaoke machine!
ME: *lips right on the mic* I wanted a camera you little shits
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) December 17, 2015
9. Kid hangover
If a parent says they have a headache from a hangover, there's a 95% chance the hangover is from having too much of a kid hanging over them.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) December 16, 2015
10. Christmas card fun
Our family Christmas card is just individual photos of us alone in different rooms, using various electronic devices.
— Lori (@loribuckmajor) December 17, 2015