When I met my husband nearly 20 years ago, I wasn’t analyzing his personality to see if it met my standards for the potential fathering of my future children. I didn’t have a complicated list of attributes; I just thought he was attractive and let nature take its course.
After the lust-fueled dating ended, we got married, and (thankfully) my husband ended up being a really great father to our sons. He’s devoted to their happiness and success, takes time to make sure they know he loves and supports them, and continually tries to learn from his mistakes.
On the flip side, one thing about my wonderful hubby I don’t always appreciate is that he can be childishly playful to the point of annoyance. He loves to antagonize us for a laugh, play silly tricks just to get a rise, and (I swear to God) every time he sees kitchen timers in the grocery store, he winds them. All of them.
I know I’m not alone in the “my husband is my additional child” complaint. I hear it a lot from my friends. That’s why, when I polled 30 women between the ages of 20 and 45 about the qualities they thought made a man good dad material, I was aghast at their No. 1 answer.
Coming in at first place was, shockingly: being playful/silly. Nearly 64 percent of the women listed my biggest irritation as the prime indicator that a man will be a good father.
Hold up, wait a minute. So ladies, what you’re saying is you want the man-child, even when you make passive-aggressive internet memes expressing total frustration with said man-child?
It looks like we owe ridiculously immature men everywhere a big, fat apology. Sorry that your partners have complained that you need to “grow up” and “stop acting like a child” because it’s apparent, we actually really want you to be that way.
OK, in all honesty — I kinda sorta love it when my husband is a big goofy kid, too. But if I didn’t complain, then my husband couldn’t call me a nag, and where would that leave us?
Moving on, the No. 2 trait was a little on the ambiguous side. “Loving” was the term that kept popping up again and again when I read through the surveys. Rarely was the word followed with a concise explanation, although a few ladies really did put some thought into their answers.
One said, “If he loves you and you know he’s just a loving guy all around, who will stand by your side through anything, and unconditionally love the children you make together, then he’s perfect for the job.”
While loving could mean affectionate and caring, it could also mean romantic and sensual. He could show love by embracing his children, or, conversely, confess his total adoration of boobs. See why being specific is important, ladies?
Tied for third place are two qualities that every parent should have, regardless of gender: patience and dependability. It helps for a dad (or mom) to have the skills to keep their cool and the reliability to be where they say they’ll be. You’d be surprised how many parents still need to work on that.
In fourth place, women cited being honest and trustworthy (isn’t that the same thing?) and liking children as key contenders in whether or not a guy will be a good dad. One mom included domesticated animals in her answer, stating: “If they do well with kids and pets, fatherhood should come a little more naturally to them than say the guy who hides behind a computer all day and acts annoyed by puppies.”
What sicko doesn’t like puppies?
In fifth and final place were several traits women felt men needed to prove themselves as father material. They were: caring, compassionate, open-minded, puts family first and supportive.
Can you believe that out of 30 women polled, only two mentioned he has to “be a good listener” and just one wanted her potential baby daddy to have a job? I can hear my grandmother oy-veying from beyond the grave.
It should be noted that not a single woman mentioned the size of a man’s penis, his height or the measurements of his muscles when describing what makes a man good dad material. Why is this of interest? Well, when I asked men the same question about women, body parts were a (depressing) part of the discussion.
There you have it folks. Women seem determined to live in continued frustration with adult male children who father their offspring while still pretending “size doesn’t matter.”