Before my first son was born, I traveled the world, bought my dream car, wrote a book, was engaged to the love of my life and bought my first house! I was living my dream. Suddenly, I woke up — and realized I was dreaming.
I had done none of that.
I was engaged, but that was about it. To celebrate my engagement, I got rip-roaring pregnant! Yup, I was living the dream all right, the kind of dream you call a nightmare! I was 22 years old, going on 23, and instead of planning a wedding and an exciting honeymoon, I was planning a baby shower and Lamaze classes.
I felt like my world was over. I didn’t even want kids! I had never liked loud noises. I couldn’t stand the sight of spit up, and I’m sorry but baby poop was way too ugly to look at. No. I was not cut out to be a mother. I had hopes and dreams! I didn’t want to be tied down to a snot-nosed, little rugrat who would be pulling my hair and slobbering all over my beautiful clothes!
Like it or not, that snot-nosed rugrat arrived nine months later, on my husband’s birthday. He was already stealing the spotlight on the first day, so unfortunately my husband had to wait for his birthday cake that year — and pretty much every year since.
They let us take the little spotlight thief home with us a few days later, where we had to fend for ourselves!
That first night home I stayed up most of the night trying to get him to fall asleep, envious of my new husband in his peaceful slumber. I had no clue what to do with the whiny little thing! Wasn’t it supposed to be easy to just feed him, burp him, change him, lay him down and get some rest? Where was the manual that came with this package? Could I send it back, because mine was leaking from the eyes? I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, or how to make him stop crying. I remembered how I was the only one of my three sisters who had said I didn’t want kids. Yet, here I was, holding one.
I looked down into my arms and asked him what he wanted. Suddenly he stopped crying, and the room went silent for a few seconds before he picked up where he left off. I asked again what he wanted, and he went silent again. This little guy liked the sound of my voice! I continued speaking, and he continued his silence. He slept on my chest that night, and after that, I — a die hard non-mom — became a mother.
A few weeks after his birth, we bought our first house. It was a lovely house in a lovely neighborhood, and I was happier than I ever thought I could be. I was starting to get the hang of this mom thing, and we even went out and bought me a nice mom car. As odd as it sounds, parts of the dream I had were coming true.
How was that possible?
Prior to having the baby, I was free and able to go out into the world and conquer whatever I pleased, yet I was stuck working at a steady job, never making time to put my dreams into action. After the baby was born, we traveled, went on family vacations and started thinking about career goals. These ideas of bettering myself fluttered through my mind daily.
My life became… fun. I suddenly loved his shrieking loud noises, looked out for spit up and worried if I didn’t see poop! By the time the second and third baby came, I was a natural at mothering, and I quit my other job to stay home and do what I loved!
Here I am, a mother of three, who made all those dreams come true and is still conquering new ones! Life is so fun for me now. Not a day goes by where I don’t laugh hard and love even harder. Motherhood has made my life worth living and I intend to live it in the most fun way possible!
Written by: Dominique Garcia, find her here!