Odds are good that my daughter is not wearing pink today.
This may confuse you — it certainly seems to confuse, or even upset, other people who realize that this is a little girl wearing yellow, green or blue. To clarify, and to save us time arguing with strangers in the dairy aisle at the local grocery store, here are a few of the reasons my daughter doesn’t happen to be wearing pink today.
1. Because all the pink stuff is in the laundry right now
Do you want to come over to my house and do the wash? That’s what I thought.
2. Because she wanted to wear the Batman shirt
I’m not going to try to explain to a 21-month-old that she can’t be Batman today.
3. Because she spilled spaghetti sauce all over the pink shirt she was wearing earlier today
See also: watermelon juice, peanut butter, applesauce and chocolate frosting.
4. Because she’s in a “taking off her shirt” mood today
And none of her pink shirts are onesies that snap up at the bottom to keep her from stripping naked in the middle of Target.
5. Because she’s old enough to pick out her own clothes
This is also why she’s wearing a blue striped shirt with orange-and-brown plaid shorts, coincidentally.
6. Because I would rather let her dress as she likes than color-code her for other people’s convenience
Color-coding is for stoplights and the wires inside movie explosive devices — not for toddlers.
7. Because she’s a tiny human being, not a giant Barbie doll
That explains the brown baby-mullet in place of a thick blonde mane, too.
8. Because her brother pulled the pink shirt out of the drawer before she could grab it first
And the reasons why my son is wearing pink today is an entirely different list.