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Rapper Chief Keef’s baby name is one you just have to see to believe

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, another celebrity comes along with his ridiculous contribution to the Worst Celebrity Baby Names of All Time contest.

Rapper Chief Keef (also known as Keith Cozart and “Sosa”) has decided that the publicity surrounding the birth of his son is the perfect way to promote his latest album. “Chief Keef and his newest baby mama have agreed to name the newborn Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart to promote the release of Sosa’s double album Bang 3 with FilmOn Music and MondoTunes on Sept. 18,” Alki David, CEO of FilmOn Records, said in a statement on Aug. 27.

Hours later, another statement was released by David thanks to a sudden paternity dispute between Keef and the baby’s mother:

“In light of new developments disputing that Chief Keef is the father of Baby Sno, the streaming TV and music platform is retracting the right to let the mother, Lauren Woods, use the middle name FilmOn Dot Com until paternity is settled. We wish Ms. Woods all the best.”

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Keef is no stranger to paternity disputes. His first daughter, Kayden Kash “Kay Kay” Cozart, was born when the rapper was just 16 years old. About the same time, Chief Keef fathered baby Kimora with another woman, who was forced to use DNA evidence to obtain child support. In 2014, the serial baby daddy announced the birth of his third child (and first son): Krüe Karter Cozart. In May 2015, yet another woman filed suit, claiming that Chief Keef was the father of her child too.

But let’s put the baby daddy drama aside for now and talk about this ridiculous name: Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart. The name is terrible enough to join the ranks of some of the worst celebrity baby names of all time, which include:

  • Zuma Nesta Rock: son of rocker Gavin Rossdale and No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani
  • Mars Merkaba Thedford: daughter of R&B singer Erykah Badu and rapper Jay Electronica
  • Audio Science: son of actress Shannyn Sossamon and illustrator Dallas Clayton
  • Pilot Standard Inspektor: son of actor Jason Lee and former fiancée Beth Riesgraf
  • Moxie CrimeFighter: daughter of illusionist Penn Jillette and wife Emily Zolten
  • Speck Wildhorse: son of singer John Cougar Mellencamp and supermodel Elaine Irwin
  • Jermajesty: son of Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza

Awful baby names are not just for celebrities. Regular people across the nation have gone on record with some equally atrocious monikers for their offspring:

  • Orgasm: witnessed first by a labor and delivery nurse
  • La-A: pronounced “laDASHa”
  • I’munique: not to be confused with the unfortunate child who goes by So’unique
  • Jammy: whose parents thought they were naming their child “Jamie”

Unfortunately for Sno FilmOn Dot Com, Jermajesty and Orgasm, bad baby names are not against the law. At least not in the U.S. Other countries, however, are more strict about the kinds of names parents can give their children:

  • In New Zealand, you can’t give your baby a name of royalty or rank, such as Justice, Duke or Major. The New Zealand government also rejected baby names Christ, Lucifer and Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. (Not even kidding…)
  • Nicknames are off limits in Portugal. If you want to call your child Mike, then you must enter Michael on the birth certificate.
  • Sweden has very strict naming laws. So strict that one set of parents rebelled by attempting to name their baby Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced Albin).
  • In Mexico, a baby name cannot be “lacking in meaning.” The nation has rejected the likes of Circumcision, FacebookTerminator and Traffic.
While we certainly don’t want the U.S. government getting involved in our baby-naming rights, we should at least consider the lifelong effects a “bad” name will have on our child. A bakery in New Jersey, for example, refused to decorate a cake for a little boy named Adolf Hitler Campbell. Do we really want to put our kids in a position of having to defend (or even deny) their name for the rest of their life?

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