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9 Terrifying thoughts every mom has on ‘meet the teacher’ night

Back-to-school orientation night: It’s the night when parents get to meet their kid’s teacher, see their classroom, and get an idea of what they should expect this coming school year.

At least, that’s what it’s about on the surface…

There are actually all kinds of feelings going on during those welcome back presentations. Here are nine thoughts moms have on back-to-school night:

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1. When did they start hiring teenagers as teachers? I mean, it’s not like I’m super old or anything, right?

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2. OK, so the blue papers are homework, purple papers stay at home, yellow papers are due Friday, and the white is the cue ball. I think I’ve got it.

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3. Huh. Were we supposed to get dressed up for this? Why are all these women wearing makeup and real pants while I’m here in an old gym shirt and jeans? Oy.

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4. This is the first time meeting the new teacher, so it’s important to make a good impression. Don’t set off any red flags. Be cool.

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5. Aaaaaand I forgot to sign in and put on a name tag. Well, at least now Ms. Williams knows whose parents are going to forget to turn in those field trip forms. Friendly reminders for the win!

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6. Please make these parents stop asking questions about nuts. It’s 8:45 and we all want to go home. It’s not that we don’t care, because we kind of do, but now is not the time, Patricia. Now is not the time.

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7. So, when we’re filling out these questionnaires about our kids, and you say you want us to be honest, do you mean honest or honest honest?

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8. Listen, flop sweat, yes you are inside a school, but you’re not the one going. You’re all done with middle school, remember? You’re a grown-up. Shhhhhh… it’s OK.

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9. And, in case I forgot to feel uncomfortable and insecure, there’s me balancing my big adult butt on a chair made for an 8-year-old.

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