If you’ve ever sported the two-carts-at-the-grocery-store-child chain, this one’s for you.
Listen, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that moms of many deserve any special awards. I’m well aware of the temptation to slip into “martyr mom” territory as if simply bringing many offspring into the world deserves accolade and acclaim.
Actually, now that I think about it…
No, but really. I tend to shy away from the “I’m so offended that you told me I have my hands full” type of articles because it comes with the territory and, for the most part, I don’t think people are trying to insult me.
But — you knew there was a but — I will say that sometimes, it does get super, super old to go through the same ol’ song and dance routine each and every time we dare to take our broods out in public.
There’s just something about a mom with a bunch of little kids that seems to shock people, even though I really don’t understand why. I don’t believe that having a “big” family (and that’s a really subjective term) is single-handedly responsible for destroying the environment or that my choices can be such an affront to anyone else. That being said, I admit that it’s hard to feel so judged just for going grocery shopping, you know what I mean?
More: My large family is not ruining the world
Among the least savory comments that I have actually received:
1. You know what causes that, right?
Insert massive eye roll here. Also, this is pretty presumptuous because infertility is a very real struggle for many couples, m’kay cupcake?
2. Are they all yours?
I’m genuinely curious — would it even matter if I said no?
3. Is your husband rich?
Nope and (gasp) some moms even enjoy working too.
4. Don’t you guys own a TV?
Actually, I don’t watch a lot of TV. *wink, wink* Is that a bad thing?
5. How do you do it all?
Sorry, but that question is totally damaging to all moms, not just moms of “many,” because none of us can do it all, nor should we be expected to.
6. Is this your last one? (said while gesturing to Baby)
In general, this question doesn’t bother me that much, because I understand the curiosity behind it. Heck, I’ve felt it myself for other moms. The decision-making process for the “perfect” family size is fascinating to me. However, when you think about it, this question is pretty darn rude. It’s just way too personal and, again, you don’t really know any struggles that have gone on behind-the-scenes.
7. Wow, your kids are so well-behaved!
Again, this comment doesn’t really bother me per se, but when you break it down, it’s kind of funny because what you’re really saying is: Wow, I expect any crazy person who has that many kids to be a pretty bad mother with out-of-control kids, I am pleasantly surprised that your offspring are not insane.
8. Haven’t you heard of birth control?
Well, sure. But just like we all hope for different types of families, my form of birth control is not really up for discussion. And just to point out — how weird would it be if we asked these types of questions to people who didn’t have kids? Can you imagine grilling someone on their sex life and birth control preferences over the produce section? I really don’t think it should be any less appalling simply because a woman may or may not have given birth to a child.
More: Hormonal birth control may not be your best choice