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20 Signs birth order totally matters

It’s hard to disagree with scientific evidence, (vaccines for the win!) but a recent study claiming birth order doesn’t matter will make anyone who’s ever been a part of or witnessed an argument over sitting in the front seat might think otherwise.

A study of 377,000 high school students examined whether birth order has an impact on intelligence and personality. While the researchers (who are probably all younger siblings looking for a way to start an argument at this year’s Thanksgiving dinner) found a one-point increase in the IQ of older siblings versus younger ones, they say the result is insignificant.

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The study also found some evidence to suggest older siblings tend to be more outgoing and agreeable, but again the researchers feel the difference was negligible. But if you’ve ever been told to let your younger brother go first or had to play referee with your own kids over who gets to sit where on the couch, then you know birth order absolutely matters.

Here are just a few of the bits of proof:

1. Older siblings use that one extra IQ point to figure out the best way to score a cookie before dinner.

2. Years of watching their older siblings get in trouble teaches younger siblings the best time to tell Dad about that B- math test.

3. Older siblings get brand-new bikes — no rusty handlebars here!

4. Younger siblings get sweet hand-me-down clothes and a giant wardrobe.

5. No teacher will look at an older sibling’s name and assume what type of student they will be.

6. Younger siblings know what classes to take and which teachers to avoid.

7. The baby of the family always gets to put the star on top of the Christmas tree.

8. Thanks to parents who want to savor their last child, the youngest kid in the family gets doted on.

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9. Every birthday, graduation and life milestone is a huge family first for the oldest sibling, so a huge party and gift is a given.

10. Younger siblings benefit from their older siblings’ paving the battle path over curfew.

11. If a younger sibling cries, they automatically win the argument.

12. Older siblings always get first dibs on using the computer.

13. Younger siblings have someone to look up to for advice on how to talk to a crush.

14. Older siblings can use their younger siblings as a handy excuse when their friend finds their childhood teddy bear.

15. Once they’re teens, younger siblings always have a ride.

16. Older siblings get to drive first.

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17. Thanks to parental ratings, the youngest sibling controls the remote.

18. Older siblings get the bigger slice of pizza.

19. Younger siblings learn all the cool pop songs from their older siblings.

20. And perhaps the most important reason of all that birth order matters: In a game of Candyland, the youngest always gets to go first.

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