Oh my gosh, pull it together already. Not the kids. I’m looking at you, pre-K mama.
Just so you know, I’m looking at you with mostly compassion rather than judgment, since I’ll totally be in the same boat as you when I drop my daughter off at pre-K for the first time this fall. Here is what we have in store.
1. The meticulous clothing selection
Whose first day of school is it anyway, Mama? The amount of energy you’ve put into helping your child pick out the perfect Frozen tutu is commendable, though.
2. The rush
Too much time was spent on the outfit. Out the door, now! You’ll be damned if you’re the mom who blows it by showing up late on the first day of your child’s official education.
3. Angst about the unknown
What if she’s too young for this? What if you should have waited another year? What if she thinks you’ve abandoned her? What if everything terrible happens?
4. Mom-friend insecurity
You’re suddenly second-guessing the choice to wear yoga pants to pre-K. What if the other moms are mean girls? What if your child’s entire education will be like your personal return to high school?
5. An exploding heart as the kiddo walks away
It’s time. Your child is walking into class and you think your heart might just explode.
6. One full hour of staring at the wall
This is what moms do, apparently, on their child’s first day of school. They stare at the wall or drive around aimlessly for at least an hour out of complete confusion about what to do next.
7. Pretending to work all day
Once you start working for the day, you just extend the time you spent staring at a wall by pretending to work. A few mouse clicks here and there should do the job.
8. The thrill of afternoon pick-up
Three o’clock has never been such a thrill. Time to hear all about the first day of school!