We have all played a boring baby shower game or two (or three) at least once. But there are some shower games that are so strange and so nonsensical they truly take the cake. You better pray the host doesn’t pull out one of these weird games at the next baby shower you attend.
Every baby shower I have ever been to has had a few predictable games, some of which you may find on the list below. But many of these “old favorites” are the kind of hokey, awkward games that you dread playing throughout the length of the shower (ahem, the clothespin game that turns grown women into raving lunatics). Other games on this list sound like the kind of games your drunk friends made up at the last minute just to give you something to do between cake and presents — and that’s probably exactly what they are.
I’m all for passing a new law that these baby shower games should never, ever be played again.
1. Baby shower strippers
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I’m a stripper — congrats on your baby! Strippers at a baby shower (bonus points for strippers dressed up like babies) may not technically constitute a game, but boy, are they entertaining. According to internet rumors, The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Kandi had a stripper at her baby shower because it’s a family tradition.
2. Blindfolded baby food relay
What could be more fun than feeding another blindfolded baby shower guest baby food out of the jar in front of a crowd of people? The answer is, anything. Anything at all. Anything in the whole wide world. (Great news: The first team to finish a jar of baby food wins.)
3. Chew gum into the shape of a baby
Image: Pinterest user
This may sound like a hoax, but it is an actual game that I played, dumbfounded, at a baby shower in my early 20s. Just chew up some gum into the shape of a baby and spit it on a paper plate. Whoever’s “mouth offspring” looks the most like an actual baby wins the grand prize — a brand-new pack of chewing gum.
4. Don’t say “baby”
Ah, the mother-flippin’ clothespin game. The game that brings out the worst in people and turns families against each other. There is always that one bitch who takes this game way too seriously and spends the entire baby shower with her ear cocked to every conversation to steal clothespins from foolish party guests who accidentally say “baby.” By the end of the party, no one cares, making her hard-won victory even more awkward.
5. Eat “poop” out of a diaper
How about we all pretend to eat runny poop, aka melted candy bars, out of a perfectly good diaper in front of our friends at a baby shower? How about nope.
6. Look like a huge idiot
Image: Kitty Groups Online
I don’t completely understand this “crazy cotton ball” baby shower game, but clearly, the goal is to make any participant look like a huge idiot. Scatter cotton balls on the floor and collect them blindfolded. Though this game has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy, you’ll still get a prize for your humiliation.
7. Make a baby’s face only a serial killer could love
Image: Sarcasm 101
Because every mom-to-be will cherish a horrifying baby face composite made out of cut up head shots of Mom and Dad. There is no way this is not going to turn out creepy.
8. Measure the pregnant belly
This game should otherwise be called, “Use a piece of ribbon or string of toilet paper to embarrass an already self-conscious pregnant woman by measuring much too small or much too large when estimating her pregnant belly.” Nobody wins.
9. Pin the sperm on the uterus
Image: Pinterest user
This is an absolutely terrible baby shower game idea, but hell yes I would play it. I may also buy this to teach my kids about the birds and the bees in a few years.
10. Re-enact your baby’s conception
Image: Cooking With Jilly
This game is as bad as it sounds. It involves a partner, a plunger and a toilet paper roll and requires inserting the male end into the female end without using hands. I’m pretty sure we all understand how the pregnant guest of honor got into this mess in the first place.
11. Smell jars of baby food
And try not to retch! Those who can successfully suppress their vomit will be entered into a raffle for the door prize.
12. Wear a dirty diaper around your neck
Image: Happy Home Fairy
What’s in your poop necklace? If it happens to be a brown M&M symbolizing poop in a diaper, you are the dummy lucky duck who is going to get a prize.