How to make the most of Mother’s Day when you’re trying to conceive

May 10, 2015 at 11:08 a.m. ET
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When you are trying to conceive (TTC), Mother's Day can be an extremely difficult holiday to get through. The constant reminders that you are not a mom are tough to cope with. There are things both husbands and wives can do on Mother's Day when TTC to focus on the positives and bring a little romance back into their conception journey.

For wives…

Use Mother's Day as an opportunity to have a "me" day. Go get a massage. Have your hair and nails done. Or just spend the day binge watching your favorite TV show. Make it a day when you ignore all your responsibilities and focus on yourself.

If you are on a fertility diet, today is your only day you get to throw it out the window. Get whatever you want to eat all day! If you've been craving a Big Mac even though it's horrible for you, get it anyway! Make Mother's Day your ultimate cheat day.

When TTC, you can feel pretty blah about yourself. You can use Mother's Day as a time to feel absolutely beautiful. Put on your tightest jeans, some ridiculous heels and a V-neck shirt. When you are a mom, you will rarely have a chance to wear them!

Take the day off work Monday so you can stay up late and sleep in the next day. This can be a great break in routine when trying to conceive. Go see a late movie. Get absorbed in a book. Spend some quality time with your husband late into the night.

For husbands…

Being attentive to your wife during this holiday is important. Bring her something that makes her feel extra special. I recommend starting the day out with her favorite breakfast, complete with a mimosa.

Next, plan a special dinner. It can be an evening out at her favorite restaurant, or a restaurant she has not eaten at in a while due to her fertility diet. Or it can be a dinner at home if you think she'd prefer to avoid any families that are out for Mother's Day. Either way, make the evening all about her. Getting that special attention on this holiday will lighten her sadness.

Later on that evening, amp up the romance. Trying to conceive tends to sap the spontaneity and fun out of sex. Get back to your newlywed days by setting the mood and have one of those truly sensual nights. Not only will this get her mind off the holiday and TTC, but it will give you both some wonderful memories.

Trying to conceive is stressful enough without a holiday like Mother's Day to remind you of what you don't have. Spend the day doing something else fun and you will have a welcome break in your TTC journey.

Nicole Witt

Nicole Witt is the owner of The Adoption Consultancy, an unbiased resource serving pre-adoptive families by providing them with the education, information and guidance they need to safely adopt a newborn, usually within three to 12 months. She is also the creator of Beyond Infertility, a community support site and online magazine geared towards families who have gone through infertility. You can visit that website at Beyond Infertility.