5 Types of moms I'll never be friends with

May 1, 2015 at 6:00 p.m. ET
Image: Getty Images

Making mom friends is harder than I ever thought it would be. When I pictured motherhood, I had visions of instant bonding via playgroups and random park encounters. Those visions, however, haven't quite always materialized into the blissful beautiful sisterhood I imagined.

Oh, I've made some amazing mom friends along the way, for sure, but I've also been slapped pretty hard with the reality that just because we have kids in common, it doesn't mean we have anything else in common. For example, I've learned there are a few types of moms with whom I'm probably just never going to be friends. For example:

1. The mom with young children and a white couch

kid white couch

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I saw and coveted that glorious pristine piece in that catalog too, but white? With kids? How do you do it? Don't bother telling me, I don't want to know. I just know that we are two very different breeds, but you're welcome to come sit on my brown version of the couch I chose instead anytime.

2. The mom whose kid is never wrong

bratty kid

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My first instinct when I hear another kid crying or upset is to figure out what my kid did to cause the crying. "Crap, what did my kid do now?" I just can't even with moms who think their kids can do no wrong. Guess what? They can.

3. The social climbing mom

beauty queen

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She'll never quite commit to your plans until the last minute in case something better comes up. She's even cancelled on you last minute, and you've found out it was to do something with someone else who for some reason she deems better. Junior high all over again is not what any mom needs.

4. The mom who refuses to spill more than wine

women whispering

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I'm a half-glass-full kind of person — especially if it's wine — and I like positive people, but people who are always positive are just exhausting (probably because I can't stop trying to figure out what they're hiding). Mom friends are great because they get what we're going through and we can vent about our kids, our marriages and anything thing else driving us crazy. But if we're the only one venting, and she never has any gripes, it's no fun. It's depressing.

5. The mom-only mom

Mom with kid

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While talking about our children is fascinating, if you haven't read a book or a news report in the last (insert age of your oldest child) years, then things are going to get dull real quick. Being a mom is amazing, but there's a whole world out there too, and I need to be around people who want to venture beyond talk of diapers and common core standards.

We all have our quirks and flaws, and just because we aren't going to be good friends doesn't mean our kids can't or that we can't be friendly. However, the more hectic life becomes, the more you realize how precious time is and little you want to waste spending with people who don't make your life better.

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