OK, so I definitely clicked on all the articles about Sarah Stage, the infamous pregnant model with abs enviable by all.
I showed the pictures to my husband, who, after seeing me go through four pregnancies, births and subsequent postpartum stages, had to hold his eyes back from falling out of his head.
“Whoa!” he said. “Is that even possible?”
All of our thoughts exactly. Obviously Sarah Stage is making headlines for a reason, mostly for the fact that most women don’t exactly look that good after a few slices of pizza, let alone at nine months pregnant.
Honestly, though, I clicked, I marveled, and then I moved on with my life. She makes a living from her body; I don’t. And I know a few ladies “in real life” who actually have managed to make it through pregnancy barely looking pregnant, so I know that genetics, body type and sheer force of will can have a lot to do with it. My point being that I don’t think the fact that a gorgeous model showing off her body during pregnancy (or lack thereof?) should make any of the rest of us mere mortals feel bad about ourselves or think that having a six-pack during pregnancy is any goal to aspire to emulate.
That said, however, when I saw Stage’s most recent snaps of herself post-birth, gently cradling her son’s head while she poses in his nursery, I couldn’t help but speak up.
Because, I’m sorry, but what in the actual hell?
That woman gave birth four days ago and not only appears to be not wearing panties of any kind, let alone the industrial-grade, hospital-issued granny panties we all know and love, but she is sitting on an all-white rug.
I don’t care how gifted you are, how much you exercise or how little you eat during your pregnancy — postpartum is what unites us, ladies. No amount of genes or lunges or squats or salads lets you escape the bloodbath that is postpartum. Some women I know bled for as long as 12 weeks after giving birth. Twelve weeks! So I’m just not understanding how, exactly, this woman is getting away with teeny-tiny panty postpartum selfies or risking oozing a blood clot out on that pristine rug.
So here is my PSA to all my currently expecting pregnant ladies in the house: Please do not let this lady give you an unrealistic expectation of what it is like to bring home a baby after giving birth. I don’t care what your body looks like, I don’t care how big your boobs are, and I certainly don’t care how much weight you gained. We are all different.
But one thing is for sure about giving birth, whether you have a C-section or give birth vaginally: You will bleed afterward, and as for the amount? Let’s just say you didn’t get a nine-month-get-out-of-a-period pass for free, OK?
And unlike our friend Ms. Stage, I would advise that you swipe a couple of those hospital granny panties and avoid white rugs at all costs, no matter how good you look doing it, because let’s face it — all new moms and their babies are beautiful, abs or no abs.