7 Reasons you need some childfree friends

May 14, 2015 at 5:00 p.m. ET

When you become a parent, it's easy to disappear into a world of playgroups and mommy meet-ups. But if you shut out all of your childfree friends now, you'll regret it later.

Countless blog posts have been dedicated to the new mom (or dad) trying to explain to the people she inexplicably names among her friends all of the reasons that she can't make time for them. In these blog posts the writer, who is presumably the first person in the world ever to have given birth, passive-aggressively breaks it down.

It usually comes down to this: I am a parent now. You are not. You can't understand me anymore, and I'm going to use my new situation to behave very poorly in my friendships. Get on board or get lost.

If you've ever been friends with one of these people, you'll find that they quickly find the time to go to play dates and mommy-meetups and Jamberry parties, but anyone not among the parenthood is excised.

Don't be this mom. She sucks. You need to have childfree friends and I'll tell you why:

1. They're cooler than you.


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There's no getting around this one. Odds are good that you haven't left the house in a while, other than to run errands or go to work. A weekend out? Out of the question. Before you know it you'll be standing on your lawn yelling for kids to get off of it. Your childfree friends can be there to remind you that there is a world outside of the nursery, and make sure you stay young.

2. You can go into normal mode around them.


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Remember when you liked things that weren't infants and infant accessories, like books and movies and scuba diving or whatever? Your childfree friend does. So when you're around her you can relish in that part of your identity. Contrary to what you may believe now, not everyone wants to hear about every detail in your child's life, so consider it a chance to talk about literally anything else.

3. They will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.


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Listen. Sometimes, you need an objective perspective on your child. Someone who can tell you that your kid has ridden the wave of being cute for too long and could use a serious attitude adjustment. Your parent friends won't tell you because they fear you'll turn on their kids.

4. They (sometimes) love your kids.


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Not all CF people love kids, and that's fine. But the ones who do are friends for life. Plus they make an excellent resource for the times that your kid would rather talk to them than to you; at least they're bringing an adult into the loop. And kids will totally gravitate towards your childfree friends, because remember, they are cooler than you.

5. They always know what to do on Friday.


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Unlike your husband, if you invite them out on a Friday they won't hem and haw about where they want to go before finally settling on Cheddar's and calling it a night by 8 p.m.

6. They make great babysitters.


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Any time I've ever needed an emergency sitter, my parent friends have always flaked and my childfree friends have always pulled through. Their schedules are a little more flexible, after all.

7. They won't judge you.


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When the new baby smell wears off and your child can't stand your dumb face anymore, you'll be really really glad that you kept these friendships alive. Whether you're enjoying a night of well-deserved alcohol but doing a terrible job of holding it, or dishing out a scathing rant about puberty, you can do it relatively judgment-free. None of the usual, "Oh man, how are you going to care for kids with a hangover?" or "Well, parenting is sacrifice." Just sweet, sweet commiseration.

More on motherhood and friendships

8 Ways moms can find support
5 Friends every mom needs in her life
Are your mom friends lame?