Totally accurate depictions of breastfeeding mothers from bra websites

May 7, 2015 at 5:00 p.m. ET

Ah, breastfeeding memories. I'll never forget how I used to slip into a sexy matching nursing bra and underpants set, nuzzle a stuffed animal and laugh maniacally.

It's not like women (or men, or children or cats) are ever shown in catalogs doing typically human (or feline) activities. Wind machines, odd props and airbrushing do not a realistic photo make. But, you guys? The people styling nursing bra photo shoots are clearly drunk.

Moms no longer want to settle for drab, beige nursing bras, and they absolutely shouldn't have to. Sexy nursing bras are more in style now than ever, so it's no shock that retailers are posing ladies more provocatively. Moms are hot! Moms want to feel sexy. This is not up for debate, nor is it a problem. But that is not what is happening in these photos.

Because what these ladies are, even I can't understand.

Baby shower

Image: You Lingerie

Is this not what people usually wear to a baby shower? Grandma? No?

Should I be holding something

Image: Linda the Bra Lady

I'm just really enjoying this thing that I am holding that you cannot see me holding but I'm enjoying it and also definitely holding it.

I always use a nursing cover

Image: Lorna Drew

This is my nursing cover. It's not that hard. I never nurse in public without my nursing cover.

Thigh highs

Image: You Lingerie

I am afraid this is too subtle.

Sometimes I have to look

Image: Her Room

Guys always check to make sure they're still there. "Look, see, the milk's still there."

Like this?

Image: Nursing Bra Express

Like this?

I don't want to look

Image: Bravissimo

Yes still there... and really happy to see it.


Image: Cake Maternity

Guys, help, I think mine are gone!

Billowing housecoat

Image: Lorna Drew

I refuse to be seen in a frumpy housecoat.

No it's not hard to hear you at all

Image: Figure 8

No it's not hard to hear you at all over all this lactating.

I'm practicing

Image: Lorna Drew

I'm practicing for the best places for the baby to go.


Image: You Lingerie

And now it is a Halloween costume.

Bath time

Image: Lorna Drew

Do we have to act out that scene from Ghostbusters II for every bath?

Oh yay time to breastfeed again

Image: Linda the Bra Lady

Oh. Is it time to breastfeed her again? I'm happy. I'm happy it's time to breastfeed her again.

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