Warby Parker has officially dominated the eyeglasses market by selling stylish yet inexpensive frames to hipsters in and around New York City, Boston and Los Angeles. However, upon my own exploration of its flagship store, I realized it offers much more than the perfect pair of specs: It’s also a one-stop shop for the definitive hipster baby name!
The walls are lined with hundreds of frames, each with its own unique name, but not any ordinary name. We’re talking names only really cool hipsters will appreciate, because let’s face it — it takes a truly avant garde parent to name their kid Roosevelt. So if you’re in the market for that effortlessly-sophisticated-but-not-like-you’re-trying-too-hard look and you’re a prospective parent looking for an equally cool and unique baby name, then Warby Parker might just help you kill two birds with one stone.
Now all they have to do is start selling baby-sized frames. It would be the perfect shower gift and almost guarantee a monopoly on the next generation of trendsetters, who will sport names like Linwood and Evette (because old-lady retro is perhaps as hipster as it gets).
Below you’ll find some of the most hipsterific frames (and names) from the shelves of Warby Parker modeled by babies who wear both exceptionally well. Because they’re super cool but not like they’re trying to be, they just pull it off with aplomb. And they could not care less if you think they’re cool, because they don’t dress to impress — they just woke up in that newsboy cap.
Image: Erin Muldoon-Stetson
Cass is a fashion blogger from Chicago, Illinois. She designs all her own outfits (as well as a number for a few fortunate Barbies) that celebrities all over the world covet. Her guilty pleasures are Frozen sing-alongs and animal-shaped fries even though they’re definitely not organic.
Image: Anthony Arbaiza
Duckworth is a documentary filmmaker who’s really trying to break into features but for now just shoots a lot of himself spinning around in the snow in his backyard. He’s way into graphic novels and comic books, and once he learns how to write, he’ll probably make some of his own. Even though he knows it’s so cliché, Batman is his favorite superhero. He also hates lima beans because they smell weird.
Image: Josh Cohen
Begley is a preschool teacher who often gets mistaken for her students because she has such a baby face. Her dream job is environmental lawyer, but until she passes the bar, she’ll settle for burying Cheerios in the dirt. She went vegan for a while but switched back to vegetarian after she realized she couldn’t live without milk. She also hates it when people mispronounce her name.
Image: Lily Landes
Greenleaf is a stand-up comic who also does magic at children’s birthday parties part-time. You might have seen his YouTube videos in which he giggles endlessly while in the bathtub. He lives on Long Island with his parents but comes into the city to do open mics every Tuesday at the EastVille Comedy Club. His jokes about diaper rash can get pretty risqué.
Image: emdot via Flickr
Rowan is in a band. And no, he does not want to talk about his influences, but they’re mainly Nirvana, Elvis Costello and Raffi.
Image: Peter Dahlgren via Flickr
Verne considers herself a free-expression painter but does some modeling to help pay for the loft she shares with her parents in Bushwick. Her e-book on teething comes out next month, and while she tells everyone she’s gluten-free, she does binge on the occasional bagel.
Image: Stacey Stetson
Keene is getting her Phd in socioeconomics and plans to run for office someday. Her favorite color is pink, and she has a collection of shoes that would make Carrie Bradshaw jealous. If she could eat anything right now, it would be a raspberry.
Image: Sarah Ross via Flickr
Sloan runs a bakery in Park Slope that boasts the best red velvet cupcakes in Brooklyn, which she makes sure of by licking each one. She buys all her ingredients locally and cooks with natural sugar only. She also designs all her own hair clips and puts them on her stuffed animals for safekeeping. Her spirit animal is a unicorn.
Image: Donald Windley via Flickr
Carnaby runs her own startup, which she knows sounds like she sold out, but 80 percent of its profits goes to buying shoes for orphans. She writes a cooking blog called “DIY Baby Food” that consists of pictures of different surfaces covered in mashed vegetables and fruit in varying colors. She thinks its an homage to Pollock, but it looks more like vomit. She hates naps and loves sticking her fingers into small holes.