New York Fashion Week and 30 other places that should ban babies

North West, Harper Beckham, Aila Wang and Carmen Baldwin have all been spotted tantrum-ing their way through New York Fashion Week. Because there seems to be a whole lot of confusion about where babies and young children belong, here are 30 other places where you shouldn’t bring your baby.

1: To Anna Wintour’s office, unless Anna has invited your baby into her office.

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2: At your Botox appointment.

3: At an afternoon showing of Fifty Shades of Grey.

4: At an underground secret Fight Club meeting.

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5: At a strip club unless you are the baby’s mother and the baby is backstage and you are working at said strip club.

6: Same goes for NYFW and you are Ashleigh Good and you are keeping your 4-month-old backstage because you are breastfeeding.

7: At your root canal.

8: To go dumpster diving.

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9: To your breast augmentation.

10: To the gun range.

11: To your trip to the summit of Mount Everest.

12: To your bail hearing.

13: To a wedding where the invitation clearly states “No children please.”

14: To a screening of a Lars von Trier movie at Cannes.

15: To visit your dealer.

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16: To your open-heart surgery.

17: To the open-heart surgery you are assisting in performing.

18: To a cock fight.

19: To run with the bulls in Pamplona.

20: To the high-stakes room at Caesars Palace in Vegas.

21: To a cremation.

22: To procure butt plugs.

23: Space Mountain.

24: To Kris Jenner’s Botox appointment.

25: To Chris Brown’s birthday party.

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26: To go with you to get your vasectomy.

27: To a bank robbery.

28: To a fetish club.

29: To your tattoo removal.

30: To the orphanage.

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