Most of the time, pregnancy is sunshine and roses. Your friends and family will open doors, rub your back and cook you a special meal for two to show how much they care. But pregnancy is an experience unlike any other. Once hormones start raging, it’s inevitable — your nearest and dearest won’t be able to stand you.
I have been pregnant twice, and I know most women hate the cliché pregnancy stereotype of being a hormonal, blubbering mess. All I can do is speak from my experience and say, “If the shoe fits (on your swollen pregnant foot), wear it.”
When hormones get the best of you, there are 10 times everyone will secretly hate you when you’re pregnant.
1. When you take what your husband says the wrong way — again
Can’t a guy catch a break? Probably not when you have an exhausted and emotional pregnant lady on your hands. If your husband has a sense of humor, he can turn your pregnant mood swings into a viral video, like this funny guy did.
2. When you sob so hard during Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close that no one can hear the dialogue
Scoff if you will, but in every hormonal pregnant woman’s defense — have you seen the movie? As Steve Carell would say, “It [felt] like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears.”
3. When you ask your mom’s advice and do the opposite
“Mom, what do you know? You’ve only raised three children successfully!”
4. When you yell at your sister about a typo on the baby shower invitations
Whoever plans your baby shower, may God have mercy on their soul. Planning any event is difficult. Planning an event while pregnant may take you into the ninth circle of hell.
5. When you make an unreasonably expensive baby registry just because you can
This is the biggest temptation you may face while pregnant. Your baby registry is your prerogative — just know that your friends may give you the side-eye when they see a $40 baby lotion and a $200 baby blanket on the list.
6. When you go to bed early instead of hanging out with your friends
This is going to happen more than once, especially in the sloth-like third trimester. Your friends may never say a word, but they won’t like it one bit.
7. When you throw too many baby-related parties
This is a mortal sin among the nonpregnant people in your life. When they have to buy you a gift for your pregnancy announcement party, gender reveal party, baby shower and baby baptism, you’ll be able to cut the tension with a knife.
8. When you keep the gender a secret
If you go Team Green during pregnancy, like many other couples, you’re in good company. And like many other couples before you, your family and friends will spend months trying to pry the secret out of you.
9. When you keep the name a secret
It’s also perfectly acceptable to keep your baby’s name a secret to avoid unnecessary judgment before birth. Just watch out for tricky “friends” who may try to get you to drop the name when your guard is down.
10. When you refuse to let people rub your belly
No pregnant woman has to let a random stranger rub her belly, ever. But for some reason, the nice old lady at the grocery store will take offense when you tell her to keep her hands to herself.